Shirin J

Dear Mom, I’m in Love

Dear mom, I’m in love with a man you will never approve of and it breaks my heart. I guess it’s a blessing and a curse to be born into our culture; our culture is what made our family so unique and special; it’s a big part of who I am, but our culture is also the reason I am terrified of breaking your heart and mine. Mom, he is kind, and sweet; he makes sure every restaurant we go to has Halal food can you believe that? He pushes me to do things I never thought I would experience in my lifetime, and he loves me the way I’ve always wanted to be loved, the way you taught me love is supposed to be like, he loves me unconditionally like you do. But he doesn’t believe in what we believe in, his beautifully cluttered mind doesn’t like the idea of religious rules, yet he tries to understand mine and he makes a great effort at accommodating and respecting my religious boundaries. My love for him doesn’t mean I abandoned my faith mom, is it greedy to want both? And I know what you’ll say, I know there are so many great men that believe like me, with a faith like mine, and a culture like ours, but none of them are him and none of them touched my heart the way he did. I have tried, my god I have tried to not fall for him, I’ve tried so hard but I failed and it’s the first time in my life that I am so utterly proud of myself for failing.