Sarah Elizabeth
Bio
Mother of four. A son, two daughters and an Angel. Empath, Poet, Writer and Lyricist. Lover of Music. No matter life’s hardships, trauma or pain... I will never stop believing.
Stories (3)
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Forever Free
This is really happening. Standing at the waters edge, the wind drying my tears as each silently fell. I still don’t want to accept it. I was there. Holding you in my arms. I still remember the soft caress of your final breath as it stole across my cheek. I still hear the silence of the monitors as your heart beat its last beat. And the absolute empty stillness of the room after your soul left this world and crossed over into the next. I was there dammit. But I still don’t want to believe it.
By Sarah Elizabeth 5 years ago in Families
Turn the page
This isn’t embarrassing so much as it is a No Regrets. The last 20 yrs have been a nightmare. I was married and started having children young. Choices I made as a rebellious teen forced me into a position of “Following through.” I’d made my bed and so I’d have to lay in it. In 9 years I’d married and had 4 children. The last a traumatic delivery that turned my world upside down. My marriage already a difficult one, filled with alcoholism, verbal and emotional abuse and trying to cope with raising children, constant financial stress and life’s regular hardships, was thrown into a tailspin that spiraled downhill for the next 15 yrs of my life. My 4th child suffered massive brain damage at birth and required 24/7 medical care his entire life until his death a month shy of his 15th birthday. My marriage slowly fell apart as we each dealt with those 15yrs in a different manner. While I remained eternally optimistic, making lemonade out of lemons. My husband took the lemons and added vodka. His drinking became unbearable as did the fighting and emotional abuse I suffered. But I stuck it out fir the sake of my children. They were going through the emotional roller coaster of their brothers disabilities and traumatic life and the changes and affect it had on our family right along with me. The last thing I wanted was to remove their father from their everyday life in top of it. Because despite how our marriage was, he was a good father. But after my son died, after my two oldest had moved out and were following their dreams, things really went down hill. The fighting had stopped but so had our words. My husband and I would go days without acknowledging each other’s existence. We slept apart and hardly spoke. I’d been dealing with PTSD and depression and anxiety since my sons birth but for a short time after his death it became very dark. Then my daughter who was entering her senior year of high school became unhinged herself. She was diagnosed Bipolar with manic episodes of depression, anxiety and anger. And working through it with her, helping her cope and get through her own mental issues, woke me up to my own. I was miserable. Unhappy and tired of being that way. There was no marriage to fight for. It had died out years before. When we did speak it turned into vicious arguments. And when my son died, with him my excuse for not moving on died too. So I started to make plans. I got a job, my own car and my own banking accounts. I got my shit together. My daughter was begging me to leave and take her with me. She’d endured her own mental hell and the tension between her father and I had reached epic proportions. If my life was going to change, if I was going to find the happy woman I once was, it was going to be now or never.
By Sarah Elizabeth 5 years ago in Motivation
A Child Called Albie
The day you were born was supposed to be amazing. I arrived at the hospital excited and so ready to finally meet you. You were being induced because of the trouble I had delivering your sister before you. Like all your siblings she was 2 weeks late and very difficult to deliver. The doctor had to break her clavicle to get her out after she was stuck. Your oldest brother was a c-section. He was butt first breech and not able to turn. Your sisters, though fast deliveries at 5 hours from the first contraction to delivery, were both natural v-back deliveries. But getting bigger each pregnancy. So three days before your due date and at an estimated weight (via external palpitation) Of 7lbs (1lb 12oz less than your sister) they began the induction. I’d wanted them to break your water. That’s what started your sisters births. But they chose cervidil. Everything moved along pretty well. Until about 10 hours in, when things began to go wrong.
By Sarah Elizabeth 5 years ago in Families
