Raeann Gilbert

Love/Death

The lights went out, and I opened my eyes, coming upon a grey light. Sitting up feeling the air very still that not a sound was made. "Hello!"I said. Noticing a mirror on the wall, my body was so pale I looked like I was sick. "My dear I'm surprised you made it."I turned my head to that familiar voice. A man came out of the shadows wearing a black cloak with colorful diamonds and gems on it. His eyes were crimson red or hazel and his skeleton hand was a holding long cane with a half sun and moon symbol crystal skull on it. "Why would you be surprised about me being here?"I asked, smirking."Cause you know you've been through a lot Raeann, you have so many knives, swords, and bullet holes in your back."Death explained. He was right as I did have all those weapons in my back, feeling the sunlight blazing in the room while on the other side was the moonlight shimmering everywhere as they both landed on me in the middle. Feeling both energies I looked into the mirror, feeling tears going down my face. I was completely damaged. Horns were on my head with a halo above, as long dry bloody swords were sticking out of my back. Some of them were so old that my skin was wrapped around them that it turned dark purple and swollen. Knives were just sticking out leading to my veins that were full of sears and old cuts around my body to even to the very first scar at the corner of my left eye. Until I noticed one knife it still had its fading glowing but knew it wasn't going to last long as it was in the middle of my heart. "Why do you still keep that one there?"Death asked curiously, putting a hand on my shoulder. Hearing that question made my heart even more as the knife kept going into its veins and through the muscle towards the tissue."I told him about my feelings and how I love him, even though he didn't want to be in a relationship. At least I told him for a heads up and I know that my door will always be open for him, I think after I told him we just stopped hanging out. You knew how I and he were dead, always flirting, laughing, spending time together, and even being there for one another."I explained feeling the memories coming back. "What did you see in him, Raeann, even though I didn't understand what you saw? "Death kept asking more. "I saw good in him while seeing both real sides of him, the good and bad sides. He was honest with me all the time and told me all the time that I deserves someone better than him. He made me smile and happy even if we weren't a couple as friends we were just there for one another. I remember that one day I had cut my finger and I went downstairs trying to get that bandage open until I ran into him and he asked what happened. I saw how worried he was and how I asked him if he could put the bandage on for me. I swear both of us were just blushing and laughing at the same time. Until I noticed how we both looked at each other that day, I don't think I ever asked him how he felt about that day. Cause he was so busy trying to not stare at me only to put the bandage on."I felt more pain as the knife went in deeper, feeling blood running down my chest. "You felt love didn't you?"Death gasped. "Oh don't look so surprised, to be honest, he was actually the first person I had hung out with at work. I really do care about him, but I can't force him to love me back. That would be selfish of me. I can only be there for him as a friend like he wants me to."I tried my best to not cry and feel the memories. "You were putting his needs before yours, Raeann you cannot do that he even told you that many times."Death scold. "Do you think I don't know that, I couldn't lose a friend no matter how much he flirted with the other girls or how he didn't want to hang out with, or how he didn't feel the same for me!!!"I growled narrowing my eyes as they glowed in anger. Tears were going down my face as I felt pain more everywhere. "My love for him will always be there, I was a great friend to him that was there for him all the time. I had to be strong to not cry or get angry at him, or else that means I'm showing my weakness in front of him. I had to hide it all no matter how much it fucking hurt to actually breathe, and to not let it all out!!!"I shouted at the skeleton man who was shocked as two pairs of wings one demon and one angle appeared on my back with a devil's tail as well. "He will always be a part of me and I forgive him cause at least he was honest with me and didn't leave like everyone else."I felt my body shake furiously as tears went down my face. "If he didn't leave then why didn't you guys hang out?"Death spoke in a serious tone. "Cause......cause I didn't want to ruin our friendship, sometimes you have to sacrifice your feelings to not have feelings return but to return honesty. That's what he did and I just forgave him, like I said to him I'm used to being hurt by people who I thought cared about me or even loved me."I didn't know you felt so much for him, you're a good person Raeann with a good heart. Just know that you will eventually find love."I felt death kiss my forehead as we hug. "We both know that I will never find love again, and I'll be okay with that. Being alone and not dealing with a relationship is fine with me."I said. "Well, I will always be here for you."He kissed my lips and felt a glow in my body. Both the sun and moon came together as a light of golden stars came out swirling around us. We both opened our eyes as I noticed death was human as well. I was fully healed. Both my wings with everything else attached were still there, except for the swords and knives. I was completely healed but I knew that the same knife was still sticking out of my heart and turned to stone with gems. I held death's as we danced around the sky until I heard voices calling my name. They were telling me to come and hang out to just have fun and live life. "I'll still be here for another dance just know you do deserve someone who's going to give all their love to you. Trust me Raeann, there is and it did not have been that guy, but there are others out there. You just don't know it."Death smiled. "But I have to know, who would want me?"I frowned as I felt my lips upon mine. "Do as well as others, just keep that in mind."He kissed me once more as heard my friends calling me again. I hugged him last time and then walked down the path seeing my friends having drinks and food. "What took you so long?"One of the girls asked. "I was speaking to an old friend, who gave me advice."I answered sitting down."About what?" They asked. "About love."I sat down as they all were chatting and having a good time. Thinking to myself I couldn't help but still feel that pain as my heart stop bleeding from the sear that was broken. I lost him, my love, whom I will never forget but regret leaving.