Patrick M. Ohana
Bio
A medical writer who reads and writes fiction and some nonfiction, although the latter may appear at times like the former. Most of my pieces (over 2,200) are or will be available on Shakespeare's Shoes.
Stories (574)
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Pornman Three
In the first part of the Pornman story, Pornman: The Man Who Lived in Porn (linked at the bottom), Pornman begins his quest to become a pornstar, discovering that he could go back in time to any porn set just by watching it. Dani, a porn movie director, and Lilly, her assistant, take a liking to our Pornman and have a threesome with him. Pornman realizes that he could save pornstars who died from an overdose or suicide by going to their last set and talking to them.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Filthy
Pornman Two
Pornman was thinking. Luckily, it wasn’t out loud as it happened once in a while, especially that one such thought was due any time. I wish I was a woman. I would have pussy all the time. I wish I was a lesbian too. I would have even more pussy, thought Pornman inside.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Filthy
Jenny’s Pussy
How can I describe perfection? Befitting words haven’t been invented for something that doesn’t exist. Perfection is a utopian concept. We usually accept that nothing is perfect. Yet, I submit, here in this story, that it can exist when one is completely in love, even with the back of her hands, her elbows, her knees, her navel, each one of her toes, everything that’s a part of Jenny, Jennifer, my new love. Oh I loved her for more than a couple of years now, but I couldn’t act upon it given my age. She’s 38 and I’m 57, and 19 years of difference are not something to dismiss or forget. But she was adamant and in love with me from the start, but I always refused her advances given my age. A few weeks ago, she took it upon her charming self — I adore her — to convince me unrelentingly that we loved each other and that love always triumphed no matter the walls. I couldn’t resist her any longer and surrendered to our love.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Filthy
A Maid in My Bed
Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever. Charles Kingsley There’s nothing average about being a Don Juan, and since I couldn’t even become an amateur libertine and had never learned Spanish, I became a writer of sorts, composing haikus and sonnets about sex, and love, though love always paled without the lunch box and the honeypot to make it real. Of course, I also wrote short and long stories in various forms where sex had to be used in various positions.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Filthy
The Police Officer’s Pussy
I don’t eat pizza. There are too many carbs. I eat pussy. There are no carbs, unless you whip-cream it or add dark chocolate. The one with cannabis is the best. What can be better than pussy, dark chocolate, and cannabis? I can imagine some of you thinking: two pussies. That’s a given. Let’s stick to one single pussy in this cop story. It could have involved two cops, but the other one was happily married. There are happily married people out there; it’s not a myth. I also sensed that she wanted a penis all to herself. Some people don’t like to share. Pizza may be the exception, unless there’s only one slice. One last thing before beginning my tale, so I won’t digress too much. I will, of course, but I’ll keep it at soft-bottom. Come on already! Don’t rush me! I want to reach at least ten minutes of storytelling; twenty if she lets me. Since a cop could be compromised in this account, there are some details that will be omitted, but I will let you know when it occurs.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Filthy
The Pros and Cons of Infant Daycare
Given the overwhelming importance of infancy in the normal development of most animals, including our species, the issue of infant daycare becomes consequential in many ways. Is infant daycare a positive undertaking, a negative endeavour, or does it swing on a wider spectrum? It is quite evident that we are social animals. However, should infancy be subjected to this fact by way of the daycare system or introduced to it more appropriately following this crucial period in our lives? We seem to be disregarding the possibility of harm being done to our toddlers in favour of complete parental fulfillment. The women-and-children-first principle is turning into the women-first standard. Freud’s insight about early childhood cannot be ignored any longer. If our children constitute our future, let us guarantee them one.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Journal
The Truth About Cheese
Did you say cheese? I could have titled the story “The Truth About Dairy: Don’t say anything” but dairy is a loaded word, so I clinched a compromise and cheesed it, and you, of course, and even set out to frustrate and exasperate by cheesing you off. Those hunks of cheese in the picture are only there to illustrate what can happen to a joint, not the one that is smoked but the one that becomes crooked, deformed, grotesque, inflamed, misshapen, painful, unsightly. You may get the picture now. Every joint is attacked, but the pictures are almost exclusively focused on the fingers; all of them, even the thumbs. However, like most diseases, not everyone can discern this outcome. Yet osteoarthritis, the most common form of arthritis, affects millions of people worldwide.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Longevity
The Second Boot
Reading a short anecdote by Terry Mansfield about a missing other shoe, I remembered a funny story that I’d heard when I was a teen, over forty years ago. My memory is pristine. I even remember things that never happened to me, as far as I know. I think that the old story you’re about to read is still funny but you’ll be the judge of that. It seems that Terry has been giving me some ideas since December. I guess that he’s like a secondary muse. But wait! A muse can’t be male. So, forget what I said! I have my muse, and this story, she approved. I ask for her approval since I like her taste. I don’t have to ask her, but I do with all my love and I think that she knows it. Do you, Crissey? She’s a timid muse, except with me, sometimes. But wait again! This story is supposed to be about a second boot. I must have digressed. When I think of her, I digress. And I think about her when I’m awake. I did it again. I digressed. I need a short break. You won’t notice it.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Journal
The Physics of Shakespeare
Why would anyone wish to defy physics, the truest science of all? It is like asking Einstein to forget everything he ever said and thought. I can easily defy religion and most nutrition guidelines too. When it comes to physics, I am adamantly resisting but I’ll play along.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Poets
