Nicole Faith

The Real Little Black Book

February was always the best month of the year in Arizona. It was still chilly from the winter but not yet taking on the desert's heat from the summer. I peered back into the rearview mirror, putting down my windows and placing my hands on the wheel. I turned down the radio so I could hear the silence. It calmed me a lot these days. I couldn’t tell if I was trying to decipher the voices in my head or quiet them. I was only 20 at this point, but I swear my soul felt aged far beyond that. My childhood wasn’t easy, but I refused to be a victim. Instead, I listened to every podcast, read every book, studied every successful person out there, and decided that I wouldn’t stop until I was happy. What a paradox, I thought. Work to be happy, never happy cause all I do is work.