Mark Lemley

Come On Down!

Dear Mr. Carey, Look, I get it. I know you’re just the host–an actor, really– and that you probably don’t have anything to do with picking the prizes the contestants win. And, yes, it has occurred to me that you may not even believe in haunted cars. I didn’t used to. But things have been so out of control for me since I came home with her. I’ve tried everything I can think of, but it’s hard to think when you can’t sleep. You’re my last resort, Mr. Carey. Honestly, I have no idea if you can help.