mariah

Daughters of lilith

This is my attempt to share my story thus far in life and call out to anyone, female or male who have shared the same or similar experiences. I am not exactly sure when or how the shift changed in me, but when it started to it was all I could think about. Coming of age as a woman was pretty ordinary for me, nothing different or special.....aside from a slow awakening inside of me. I started having sleep paralysis around that same time, I went to medical professionals, psychologist, different religious guides and analyst to attempt to understand why these "episodes" were happening typically as i fell asleep. The medical results deemed me as having an unusual form of narcolepsy and my brain accessing abnormal pathways in REM, which lead to an explosion like feeling from the crown of my head to the ends of my toes. It was like a burst of electricity pulsating through me accompanied by visions that were so real if given a polygraph I could pass as to what i saw and where I was taken, out of body during this time. It started dark and fear based around the age of 15, monsters and demons and all the boogymen the modern world puts in our brain and the only way to end it was to travel through it which took several years. I didn't experience the feeling of intimacy as others did, or love or attraction. When I felt the pull and i mean PULL to pursue my prey, there was absolutely nothing anyone could say or do to stop me from engaging in the hunt and instantly reading everything about that person to transform into they wanted. I watched body movement, felt energy, listened carefully and used my craft as bait to lure them. Once i had their full attention all i had to do was place my hand on their chest to "test" their energy, and if it was the right kind, I began to feed. I could hear what they wanted sexually, emotionally, physically and once the intercourse fully started I could feel myself absorbing their essence. Their will to survive and thrive would now be whatever i wanted to appease me. I had no emotions tied to them other than the complete feeling of life force during and after sex, lasting for a few days or until they were drained. I watched it, the obsession their need for me dangling in the air, and once I had my fill I left without a trace. I know how this sounds. I know this will be viewed as manipulative, sociopath behavior, destructive, selfish and even evil. Being young you have no idea why this is happening every time you engage , it is like a shapeshifter with zero control. The intention is not to hurt or maintain control or possession. It instantly follows. When my nightly visions started happening i started asking questions to a woman I know now as Lilith and Brigid, both equally part of me. This is how I was answered as i drifted off to sleep, and traveled. I was on a beach at night time just walking in the sand, feeling content listening to the waves, the cool night air on my face when i came across a bonfire and people of my age 20-30 having a small party, dancing with beautiful music, and i was asked to join. as soon as i approached the people I felt like i was exactly where i was supposed to be, and then i met her. She was dancing and drinking, beautiful , seductive and the moment we had locked eyes we both knew we belonged to each other.I just can't explain it. Kindred, as if we were twin flames for centuries in another life time. I had met a fellow succubus or whatever you want to label it, to me a goddess, illuminating , full of energy, just like mine. We grabbed each other with an overwhelming sexual haste and headed to a tent that was a ways behind the fire. It was beautiful. White drapery, bedding soft as silk, light peering in from the fire just enough to highlight each others bodies. Suddenly long red hair, bright green eyes the same as my own, soft skin was intertwined with mine as vines that grew together, strong roots. Delicate. We tasted each other and created a ritualistic bond through sex, sweat, passion, and most of all giving and taking each others energy as if we were exchanging secrets of the soul like a forbidden text that was locked away, i wish i could explain this better, but sometimes words are not enough to explain what was happening. As I came to, I had a song that was embedded into me as if I knew it my entire life, and it was a song I would sing often in the years to come, think of a Celtic hymn while reading the lyrics:, enchanting harps, enticing. analyst to attempt to understand why these "episodes" were happening typically as i fell asleep. The medical results deemed me as having an unusual form of narcolepsy and my brain accessing abnormal pathways in REM, which lead to an explosion like feeling from the crown of my head to the ends of my toes. It was like a burst of electricity pulsating through me accompanied by visions that were so real if given a polygraph I could pass as to what i saw and where I was taken, out of body during this time. It started dark and fear based around the age of 15, monsters and demons and all the boogymen the modern world puts in our brain and the only way to end it was to travel through it which took several years. I didn't experience the feeling of intimacy as others did, or love or attraction. When I felt the pull and i mean PULL to pursue my prey, there was absolutely nothing anyone could say or do to stop me from engaging in the hunt and instantly reading everything about that person to transform into they wanted. I watched body movement, felt energy, listened carefully and used my craft as bait to lure them. Once i had their full attention all i had to do was place my hand on their chest to "test" their energy, and if it was the right kind, I began to feed. I could hear what they wanted sexually, emotionally, physically and once the intercourse fully started I could feel myself absorbing their essence. Their will to survive and thrive would now be whatever i wanted to appease me. I had no emotions tied to them other than the complete feeling of life force during and after sex, lasting for a few days or until they were drained. I watched it, the obsession their need for me dangling in the air, and once I had my fill I left without a trace. I know how this sounds. I know this will be viewed as manipulative, sociopath behavior, destructive, selfish and even evil. Being young you have no idea why this is happening every time you engage , it is like a shapeshifter with zero control. The intention is not to hurt or maintain control or possession. It instantly follows. When my nightly visions started happening i started asking questions to a woman I know now as Lilith and Brigid, both equally part of me. This is how I was answered as i drifted off to sleep, and traveled. I was on a beach at night time just walking in the sand, feeling content listening to the waves, the cool night air on my face when i came across a bonfire and people of my age 20-30 having a small party, dancing with beautiful music, and i was asked to join. as soon as i approached the people I felt like i was exactly where i was supposed to be, and then i met her. She was dancing and drinking, beautiful , seductive and the moment we had locked eyes we both knew we belonged to each other.I just can't explain it. Kindred, as if we were twin flames for centuries in another life time. I had met a fellow succubus or whatever you want to label it, to me a goddess, illuminating , full of energy, just like mine. We grabbed each other with an overwhelming sexual haste and headed to a tent that was a ways behind the fire. It was beautiful. White drapery, bedding soft as silk, light peering in from the fire just enough to highlight each others bodies. Suddenly long red hair, bright green eyes the same as my own, soft skin was intertwined with mine as vines that grew together, strong roots. Delicate. We tasted each other and created a ritualistic bond through sex, sweat, passion, and most of all giving and taking each others energy as if we were exchanging secrets of the soul like a forbidden text that was locked away, i wish i could explain this better, but sometimes words are not enough to explain what was happening. As I came to, I had a song that was embedded into me as if I knew it my entire life, and it was a song I would sing often in the years to come, think of a Celtic hymn while reading the lyrics:, enchanting harps, enticing.