Madeline McConnell

When anxiety takes control

Anxiety comes in many different forms and it can often feel like you’re the only person feeling that way. I promise you, you aren’t alone. I have struggled with general anxiety disorder for years now, but I’ve made incredible improvements and my life has felt like it’s finally mine again. It can often times be difficult to articulate to others why you’re anxious, and what’s causing it. But let me say this, the way that you feel doesn’t have to be linked to any reason. Sometimes and a lot of the times we don’t know why we feel anxious, but that’s okay. I’m here to give you insight into how I changed the way anxiety ran my life and hopefully help you do the same(: First things first I want to tell each of you that I’m here for you, and you will get through this.. even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. One thing that always bothered me when I opened up to others about my anxiety was the question that usually always followed “well why are you anxious, what’s causing it?” I didn’t know why I felt that way 9 out of 10 times and it made me feel misunderstood. It’s more than okay to not know the source of it, sometimes we know and other times it hits us out of nowhere and we can’t explain it. Either way, I see you and I understand you. For a while I was plagued with the dreadful fight or flight response in my body, canceling plans, staying in, being glued to a very specific routine, and not having any appetite. Anxiety was my prison and I was trapped in it 24/7. I’m here to share with you what helped me take my life back from the prison that I had learned to live in. The first thing I want to mention is definitely finding someone who you can trust to reach out to when you feel that anxiety trapping you. I know it’s hard to open up sometimes out of fear of being a “burden” or someone not understanding. I promise you, it’ll help. Even if it’s a sibling, parent, doctor, therapist, friend, or significant other. It will help you feel less alone in those worse moments of anxiety. The next thing that helped me a lot was learning how to talk to myself during these super intense moments of anxiety that felt suffocating. I used to freak myself out and I would think of the worst possible scenario. I changed that and you can too! When you feel it wash over you tell yourself that the last time you felt that way that it passed and this will too. Did that worst possible scenario happen each time before this one? Probably and usually not, so why would it this time? Instead try to focus on the best possible outcome or scenario and think how awesome that would be! I know I know, it’s easier said than done, trust me I know. If you start to break the habit, each time it will get a bit easier. The next technique that helped me through my most intense moments was having a playlist of music that made me feel good and safe. Kinda embarrassing but mine is Christmas music year round lol! Sinatra and Nat King Cole were others that I often went to as well. You may find podcasts, sounds such as water flowing or birds chirping, or music helps. But it’s good to find at least one auditory mechanism that helps ease your feeling. The next thing that will help is trying to step out of your routine one small bit at a time. For me, routine was my safe space, it felt like one of the only things I had control over. But, if you can teach your body to respond to change differently over time it will do wonders. Take it day by day, you don’t have to do something drastic or try doing this everyday. But at least try once every while in the beginning until you’re ready for more! For me this meant going to a public place where I usually couldn’t get myself to go to, going for a walk around my neighborhood, allowing myself to go somewhere more than 15 mins away from my house. The list goes on but these were some of the things I tried to do, and with time it got easier for sure. Take it day by day my friend. Remember to have patience with yourself, you are doing the best you can and then some. That’s amazing, you’re amazing.