Lydia

START up

"Why are you doing what you're doing?" was a common question. "Why now, aren't you a little, you know - past your prime,?" was the other one. Joining the military at my age is uncommon, and quite frankly, I had to get to the point in my life where I chose not to give a damn about what anyone thought anymore, to choose to follow that little roaring triumphant voice in my head that said, "GO. Go now and do it." So, I did. My family had no reason now not to support me, my ex was now my ex, and remarried, and they both wanted me gone for a while - so basic training worked out perfectly! (Please note, I say this with all the humor in the world. My ex and I are amicable, but we both can annoy the crap out of each other, and his wife in the meantime - she's a saint!). What makes someone do an about hace almost midway through a successful career? Mine was because that damn voice in my head still existed since the towers fell. I was 18. I was doing crunches in my parent's living room. I saw the first tower - I stopped, in shock. Then the second plane, second tower. My heart was at 220 bpm, my mind, my heart, my everything said - YOU HAVE TO GO --- NOW! GO HELP!!! The weight of my engagement ring - my promise, my everything, was on my left hand. I made a choice that day that nearly killed me 11 years later. I can write in more detail later, but this is a start. This is a reminder that you have to IGNORE everyone. You have to do the hard work to unearth your heart and LISTEN to it. Yes - ignore people in order to hear your heart! (p.s. I'm typing, not talking, so you can't ignore me just yet!) My goal in my next season of life is to help others, that is pretty vague, but I started DOING my passion, taking the steps (with my first ruck, see above- yes, she's gorgeous. How we met is another story for a different time). My point is - set your eyes on the overall global picture, then drill down - smaller steps. How do I help people? Do I want to run a non-profit? Do I want to be a nurse? EMT /Paramedic/Firefighter? Do I want to be a social worker? What about a counselor, pastor, or teacher (another avenue to guaranteed sainthood!)? Take a bunch of personality quizzes - they're fun! Hire a mentor which is really like an objective best friend who can tell you for realizes what tools might help you navigate your path ahead. No matter what - start exploring who you are, who you have been. WRITE IT DOWN (look! I'm doing it here), even if you annoy yourself with your thoughts! Start with step 1. Make it habitual, a ritual. Build on it. Ask for clarity as you go - and don't rush the process. It took me 18 years to be made ready for military service. It's taken me even longer to become what I hope to be when I grow up - a healer, a helper, a navigator. It is not too late to take your journey. If I can lose my salary of 80k annually, ask for help, etc.. you most definitely can. At some point we have to jump out of the plane. So start getting your checklist and equipment assembled. Then - hang on for the ride up!