Lizzie Boudoir
Bio
Thrice married, in love once, overly romantic, and hypersexual.
Stories (98)
Filter by community
These Food Porn Photos Will Make You Lose Your Appetite
Food porn is not for the spoiled elite. It is for the luscious lovelies with berry bush and peppery tastes. Like fresh cantaloup, scooped out and filled with cottage cheese, food porn can feel fresh and fulfilling. The French are known to tongue a pepper before cunnilingus and Israelis take a lick on a sliced avocado. The rotten batches are discarded, often on the floor. Steady stems, slightly squeezable, make a great foundation for food porn. The banana is the king of the fruit porn pasture. Slowly peeling off his sheath, the banana exposes itself to the lips of an often green, shiny head of lettuce. Bursting through its skin, the banana fits perfectly with everything from peanut butter to creamy yogurt. Food porn is only a few steps away, from bedroom to kitchen, where a plethora of pleasure begins by opening a door. A refrigerator door opens up to the vast supply of sexual accoutrements for the culinary challenged.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Fine Art of Giving Head
I like to suck cocks. I’m good at it. Unfortunately, not every girl is. Some girls think all one has to do is put the thing in your mouth and roll it around a bit. The guy should be grateful for special favors? Not so, girls! Suppose a guy was going down on you? How would you feel if he just put his mouth down there, rooted around for ten seconds, and let it go at that?
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Baseball Players with Porn Star Names
Baseball and pornography have more in common than you think. They are both great American pastimes. More than that, though, they both have multiple players always ready to play, balls constantly flying at their faces, and large rods in their hands. It's basically a description of an erotic film set. If you're outside in a beautiful field watching sweaty men throw, catch, and hit balls, it is understandable that your mind might wander to sex, and it doesn’t help that the names of some of these players fit perfectly into the porno in your mind's eye. Names of various players, though not always the sexiest or the most famous, certainly give us something to think about. What exactly was it that made Babe Ruth a Babe, and why is that candy bar so damn big? From Rod to Pussy, these men helped define the sport of Baseball. Porn parodies are long overdue for a spots classic. Squirts Illustrated was a nice try but, like Bad News Bitches, it was fun but not really grounded in reality. Now Field of Creams came close, but i think what is really needed is a take on an authentic player reimagined as a pornographic film.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Coming Out as Bisexual
As a divorced woman in my thirties, I have witnessed my fair share of injustices. For example, my husband stopped being attracted to me after I couldn’t lose the baby weight from having our son and I wasn’t awarded full custody because I was unemployed. I have bounced back from my divorce and I am comfortably well-off, with a good job, and liberated enough not to have to take alimony from my ex-husband. Even though those points in my life were some of the lowest, I find it difficult to complain about it. For most people around the world, marriage is something that can never be achieved, never mind getting a divorce.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Dissatisfied Sex on the Couch
She sat on her couch in silence, her thoughts consuming her. She ran her fingers through her dark, short hair, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing. Recent events had left her wondering how they had gotten to this stage. The more she thought about their relationship now the more she thought about how they had first met and how wonderful things had been back then. She was 22 and had been making her way to her new flat. She was still very unfamiliar with the area and had yet to make any friends. She had decided to take a walk, but didn’t want to go too far, in case she managed to get herself lost. Regardless of her intention, she had managed to do exactly that. She felt very foolish and walked into a cafe to get out of the rain. She sat down for a coffee, taking a look around the cafe as she did so. She called a friend to ask for directions, but got her voicemail.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Do Aphrodisiacs Work?
I made the mistake of reading up on so-called aphrodisiacs, or love potions, after eating a hearty lunch. The portions that gullible people have downed in an attempt to increase sexual prowess would turn innards. Or perhaps you would refer a concoction of dead bees tossed in a bottle with a little liquid, sealed, left to disintegrate for a couple of months, and then shaken well and swallowed. Or would you be tempted by a serving of powdered partridge brains? If I had to drink those mixtures I would be crawling into a sick bed instead of a love bed. Most of the world must agree with me, for these ancient brews have fallen out of favor. Fear not though, mother nature has not let you down, aphrodisiacs abound.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Laid Off in More Ways than One
I still can’t believe it happened. Had I not been laid off from my job as a flight attendant, it never would have. It’s true that every cloud has a silver lining. I really enjoyed my job, as I love to travel. When I heard that I was soon to be unemployed, I was depressed. Two of my girlfriends invited me out dancing, and I happily accepted, needing to forget my troubles. But once we arrived at the club, I didn’t feel all that comfortable. As a dark-skinned black woman, I felt very out of place in a crowd of mostly whites. So I decided I’d just hang out at the bar.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Experience Crazy Horse Paris
The Arab Sheikhs smelled of expensive cologne. A cloud of cigarette smoke hung off the low ceiling in the basement of a centuries-old Parisian building. The neon sign outside lit up the words Le Crazy Horse de Paris. There was little other indication that you had arrived at an iconic location. It was 1987, I was 19, and my father had just paid a small fortune for us to sit up close at one of the most erotic and oldest burlesque revues in existence. Plush red velour banquettes were filled with eccentric looking men and exotic looking women. The lights dimmed. For the next few moments, my eyes adjusted to the low lights and a single silhouette of a beautiful woman drenched in mist, almost enveloped by a revolving glass door on a stage. Black Russian in hand, my father grinning beside me, I settled in for what would be two hours of the most stylized, visceral experience of my young life.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Saying the Wrong Name in Bed
A female architect, Alyssa, and I had been working together for over three years as team leaders, designing and supervising the construction site of the most remarkable residential masterpieces in this country and abroad. Alyssa and I worked so well together because of our ability to read each other’s mind. Her talents were in interior design. I developed the structure around her designs to fit the client’s specs. By necessity, during the day we were almost inseparable, but when it was quitting time, we went our individual waysa: she to her husband and two young children, and I to my wife.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
Porn Is the Invisible Hand of Technology
Technology creates sexology improves. Technology has evolved to its current state largely thanks to the invisible hand of pornography. The adult entertainment industry was pioneering technology long before Silicon Valley existed. While Hollywood executives shrunk from the release of the VCR and later the internet, the erotic entertainment industry seized these new markets as new opportunity. The contributions of erotic markets to technological evolution are largely overlooked, namely due to the fact that these markets are still seen as taboo by the masses. Whether the public realizes it or not, the porn industry has grabbed technology and applied it to consumers needs, wants, and desires since the 19th century.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
History of Video Game Sex
At a recent presentation for an interactive video sex game, one of the coders turned to us and said, “it’s all the fun of sex, with none of the mess.” The video game industry has had a rocky relationship with defining what is and is not too graphic when it comes to sex. While HBO’s Game of Thronesand the BDSM-filled novel 50 Shades of Grey are common topics in casual conversation, sex in a video game causes legislators to stand erect in bipartisan union and rabble-rouse about the state of gaming. Games that riddle characters with blood-oozing bullet-holes or see players blown apart are perfectly acceptable, but throw sex into a game and concerned mothers start ranting about the immorality of society, all while their children sit at home with an Xbox controller in hand. What happens when gamers wear a VR headset and enter the gaming world, when the black mirror preventing full immersion is broken? To know the future of sex in video games one must first understand its conception.
By Lizzie Boudoir10 years ago in Filthy
