Lakeezia Shine

A Jar of Clay

I'm sure I won't live long, purposeful people never do. I understand that time is not on my hands, but rather on my side. It's not something I can hold on to, but yet it's something I can race with. Something I can pace myself to or even something I can measure my life by. Time. Time is so versatile, while it’s building and strengthening me it's destroying and weakening many people. One of those people being someone who’s very dear to me, Michael. I've known him for about 20 years now, he’s a close friend of mine. He met me when I was just a fetus in my mothers womb and from there our relationship began to grow. Micheal is one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. He encourages me to always look at the best side of things, and he pushes me to keep going. It's actually ironic, how someone so caged can inspire me to be so free. Right now, Michael is in a cell looking at four walls. Paying for a crime he was accused of over 2 decades ago. He’s paid 26 years of his life. That’s a lot of time spent repaying for something that you should already own. It's crazy, I know. He’s on death row, and if his final appeal gets denied it's over for him. Just like that. The state will decide if he lives or dies, how unfortunate. Although Michael knows and understands all that is going on, he never holds his head down. He finds joy in the little things. I admire that about him. With Michael I've shared my dreams, my hopes, my desires, and everything else that I have. We constantly write back and forth. It's been awhile since i saw him though, the prison he’s at hasn't been taking any visitors. It's been that way for a few months now. The last time i saw him he said something that really stood out to me, and he said it as if he knew i’d never forget it. Right before it was time for him to go, he looked me in my eyes with his hand on my shoulder and said “if they put me under, dig up my existence”. When I spoke to him again through a letter I asked him about it, but he never addressed it. I knew he knew I wanted to get to the bottom of what exactly he meant. And by him knowing me, he knew that I was gonna break down his words until they were crumbs in my hand. See, Mike knew that I was smart. He knew that I was strategic. He saw potential in me, potential that I didn't even see at first. I kept thinking about what he said, it even kept me up at night. One day I just couldn't take the agony anymore and I wrote to him and asked “what's buried ?”. I sent it off hoping that he would be able to feel my wonder and frustration through those two words. I waited for his reply.