Kir the Mortician
Bio
Teehan Kir Kaye is a licensed funeral director and embalmer in many states, as well as an artist, writer, and seasoned bartender. She doesn't sleep much, but loves her son Tolkien infinitely, and their fat, tailless cat, Barry White.
Stories (3)
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Feathers and Lances
Charles slept nary a wink since he and most of the other feathered residents of the Royale Rookery had unceremoniously been relocated to the Gainesville Fairgrounds on Friday, two days previous. The rookery arrived just in time for the annual Hoggetowne Medieval Faire and to participate in Jerome’s sorry excuse for an avian show, grossly entitled, “Birds of Prey”. “Birds of Lame” somehow sounded better in old Charlie Boy’s head, and the barn owl chortled to himself at his own wit. Of course, the chortle came out more as a series of shrill chirps, making the peregrine next to him flap her wings and find new purchase on her perch with those razor-sharp talons of hers. The falcon then eyed Charles in the most disapproving manner.
By Kir the Mortician4 years ago in Fiction
Fearlessness & Fulfillment
Hi! My name is Kir (it rhymes with “beer”), and I am a Mortician. I say that with a capital ‘M’, because not only am I a funeral director but also an embalmer with licenses in multiple states. Also, I have been to hell and back so many times in the process of becoming the very capable woman in a black suit telling you her story today, that I should have a punch card where the 10th trip is free! But trust me, it has all been so worth it and I would not change a thing.
By Kir the Mortician5 years ago in Humans
The Fight
He nearly knocked the two ladies-of-the-night over as he stumbled up and out of the stairwell that led to one of his favorite bars, appropriately named 12 Steps Down. That last Bluecoat and tonic probably was about three too many, especially considering his favorite bartender had been slinging drinks that night. Ah, Jean. Pretty little thing.
By Kir the Mortician5 years ago in Humans
