Katy Cochrane

What Is Happening?

Does anyone else have the looming fear that life has literally no purpose, like at all? Because I find myself getting up in the morning, getting ready, going to work, going home, going to bed, and repeating that. Every day. I find myself waking up a little bit later in the mornings. I set more alarms so I can actually wake up before I get up. I put in less and less effort when I get ready for work in the morning, and often get things done to me that make getting ready in the morning less of a hassle (i.e. get my lashes done so I don't have to put on makeup). I leave at the last possible second for work, and still get coffee on my way to work, because I can't survive the next 8 hours without it. I am late every morning, but my boss doesn't care. I don't actually work that hard, the job is just really easy, so I get it done quickly and just bullshit my way through the rest of the day. I avoid making plans so I can stay in my bed when I get home from work, and I don't even fall asleep until around 1 AM. And then we start at the beginning again. I find little to no interest in eating food. I eat because I'm bored. I try to only hang out with "friends" once or twice a week, because anything more than that seems exhausting. I am re-watching the same show with 14 seasons on Netflix... again.