Kaci Oswald

Drown

Water had always been an element that lives with a never-ending love/hate with itself. Its dual nature can heal, but it can also ruin. It  can't be labeled, nor it's traits compared to anything else. It is absolutely unique. From the very first droplet, it was quite remarkable. It has the power to nourish and revive. It can bring life to the desolate. It can be used as a gateway to other lands. It can be contained and controlled and utilized for amazing things. On the opposite end of the spectrum, water can destroy. It can tear apart the sturdiest of structures. It can overflow. It can decimate. It can penetrate the tiniest space,  and with just a trickle, it can take over with unapologetic force and disregard for the things in its path. And though water can be contained, it can also find a way out. It is as loved as it is feared. When it was needed, it was shown appreciation and acknowledged as a gift from the gods. When it was not, it was blamed, and soaked up, and displaced, and shown a level of dislike usually reserved for the truly awful things in this world. Water felt at war with itself and struggled with itself. It tried to be just enough. It found that this was not possible. It was either too little or way too much. Its own force started to weaken and lose the desire to exist. It didnt care to be something so wild. So unpredictable. So impulsive. When given the opportunity to question the Creator, it did so. "Why did you make me as I am? I dont know where I belong. I'm loved for half of what I am and hated for the half I can't change. Nothing in this world accepts me completely. How can I continue, knowing that my place in this world is only acceptable as long as I control what I have no chance at controlling?" The Creator took in a deep breath, and a single tear rolled down one . It fell, landing on the dirt, and it was quickly absorbed. "My friend. Countless eons of time were spent on planning when I first imagined you. Your birth took more time and energy than anything else I've made. You were never meant to conform. You were meant to be wild. Carefree. Reckless. Clean. Unyielding. Beautiful. Because I had nothing to compare you to, you are now and will always be an anomaly. The fact that you are at odds about who you are means that you've listened to others negativity, which almost made you lose yourself. You will never be completely understood because understanding something without limits can't be done. You are every possibility. You are the answer. Those lucky enough to have you may never appreciate you, and those who live without you will never see you beyond their own needs. The reason I entrusted you with this is because you are the only one who could handle this struggle. You are going to battle yourself as long as you believe there is something to battle. When you accept that you are perfect as you are, you won't need anyone to accept you. You will be accepted though, by those who truly see you, because you come from a place in this world that is in everyone and everything. Because of your existance, other things can survive. You are a reminder of life and death, of everyones fear of the unknown. And so yes, you will always be outcasted by the majority. But a few of my creations will always accept you. The earth, the fire and of course the air that swirls around. So, although you may only find a true home with a handful of other things, it is there that you will be completely wanted, needed, loved, cherished, honored and accepted for every complexity of your nature. And this is how I intended things to be. I made your path difficult so that you would ultimately see how valuable you truly are and only give yourself completely to the things that were worth the cost. And when your truest nature finally reveals itself to those who can truly see it, you will see just how priceless the pain you felt really is. This pain will make you see the exquisite pleasure of being who you really are. In this realization, you will find the peace you have always deserved.