Julie alderete

I Should Be Sleeping

Dots swaying in an array. Blackness behind them. It’s been such an exhausting day. I close my eyes, and I will leave them shut if they want to stay. But a voice calls to me. Pick up your phone. Answer that text. Oh you have a notification to check. The blue bar at the top of the page directs me to the red number which seems to be blinking away. “Oh that’s an interesting video, oh that’s a cute cat, oh look at the baby wearing that hat”. Ok enough. I close those apps and close my eyes. Black nothingness followed by the colored dots begin to arrive. Is this exhaustion? Or are my eyes being trained. Or strained. Either way my eyes won’t stay...my phone calls me by my name. Here I am laying in my bed. Blue light glowing in my face for hours until my eyes can’t sustain. I deliberately chose to see what I could see. All of the bars and notifications colors screaming at me...