Jason Edwards
Bio
Dad, husband, regular old feller living in Seattle. My stories are a blend of humor, intricate detail, and rhythmic prose. I offer adventure, wit, meta-commentary; my goal is to make the mundane feel thrilling and deeply human.
Stories (43)
Filter by community
How to Write a Novel
Wanna write a novel? Cool. First you're going to need a character and a setting. Frog on a log in a bog. Now, conflict. Alligator. Alligator tries to eat frog, frog runs away, alligator snaps and thrashes, frog sees tree, frog climbs tree. Alligator climbs tree. Alligator breaks a branch and falls down. Frog is safe. Frog is safe? Alligator decides to wait at bottom of tree.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
TOODLEDOO TO TRIATHLETE TRANQING. Content Warning.
WJBE NEWS, DATELINE BALTIMORE, MD July 12, 2024 – In a surprising turn of events, the FDA has banned the use of tranquilizer darts to subdue extreme athletes and harvest their perspiration. This decision has sparked controversy, with several state governors arguing that the law is detrimental to commerce and hinders the control of extreme athlete populations.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
11 Ways to Overcome Writer's Block
Writer's block-- it happens to everyone. Well, not me, you know, I've never, personally, had a problem like that. I mean, sometimes if I have too much whiskey the words will come out a little bit soft, but you know, they're still words, so that counts. Right? But enough about me. I'm here for YOU right now. You're the one with the problem, and I'm going to fix it for you, because that's what friends are for. So here are eleven ways to overcome writer's block-- and none of them were created by Chat GPT!
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Humor
Esprit de Machina
People call me Care, if you can believe it. Short for Carol. There have been plenty of men who have been given the name Carol, and I've never had any kind of problem with it. But people can be uncomfortable using a woman's name when talking to a man, so they shorten it. Or, to be precise--and precision is a must in my industry--they are sometimes uncomfortable using a name that they perceive to be a woman's name, even if, as in my case, that person is a man. So they call me Care.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
Doby Dillion. Content Warning.
4:45 on a Thursday afternoon. Dobby Dillion picked up a tire and threw it with all his might. He didn't have much might left, since he'd been tossing rubber since 9 in the morning. But it's 15 minutes until closing time, and the official start of his vacation, so he gave it what he had. The tire rebounded off three walls before flying into Ethel's desk, knocking her laptop and shattering a vase holding a single daisy.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
A Day Like Any Other, Unironically. Content Warning.
Wake up an hour before the alarm is set to go off. I should go outside and clean up all the dropped arms and legs and viscera from last night's attack, but I can't be bothered. I close my eyes for a second, and then the alarm goes off, right on schedule. Oh well. Time flies when you're having fun, right? Then again, I don't know if anyone calls sleep "fun."
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
