Jasmine Je’toi

My Brother’s Keeper

If her childhood was a color It’d be light grey. Sky on a rainy day, And again at dawn, Clouds during a whimsical winter, When darkness and light collide. I wonder, What if her prayers never met a God? What does it mean to be siblings and unrelated To be siblings and unscorned, Unbound, unbroken, unbruised? I’d welcome them. But have been robbed of them. There’s no mending that. There’s no peace in that. Who is that in the bathroom Crying in the shower? Praying that God heal her He(ar)re, her cry. Hear her hurt. All she can hear Are her elders telling her, “Well, He’s still your brother”. What a monster of a memory. Bruises unseen, Trying to cut the seams of this silence. That don’t disturb the peace, silence, That waiting in the clinic, silence, And I’m so tired, I’m bout to snap I’m about to blow THE FUCK UP And it’s long overdue now! Cause where were you?? How dare you hear the little girl Hiding in the bathroom Crying in the shower again Trying to make sense of her life again How dare you see her innocence Surrounding her like a bed of ash And know that only fire will catch How dare you ask her To love and hate someone for the sake of your sins? The unspeakable audacity You don’t know how hard it was writing this. Or how hard it is saying this But there’s freedom in saying this. I survived without letting you stain me. And though I love you I don’t forgive you But if your sins ever met a God Maybe, just maybe She will.