Jared Wheeler
Bio
I teach philosophy, religious studies and communication at a small college. I am a dad and husband and spouter of multiple opinions. @jaredawheeler
Stories (20)
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If the Shoe Fits…
Under Armour has admitted a hard truth. They conceded that their flagship sneaker, the Curry 3, was not selling as well as they originally hoped. CEO Kevin Plank did his best to “business-talk” his way out of this harsh reality. Yet the perceptive reader/listener was consistently reminded that the corporate tongue is typically forked. Ironically, the Curry 3 might be one of the more unappealing sneakers a reigning MVP has ever worn.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Between Me and Jusuf
Basketball talking types have recently engaged in a debate regarding the best young big men in the league. Karl Anthony Towns plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves and he is a very good player. Nikola Jokic plays for the Denver Nuggets and he is very good. People debate which of the two is better. People debate who is the better young big man to build a team around? Some people point to KAT’s statline — 25 points, 12 rebounds, 35% from three — on the year. Some people point to Jokic’s passing ability which hints at the paranormal. This is a real debate real people with real eyes and real brains have.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Betrayal, Thy Name Is Dottie
During the battle for America’s independence, when George Washington’s army ate horse meat and Betsy Ross sewed up the continental army’s guns (or something,) general Benedict Arnold held clandestine meetings with British leader Sir Henry Clinton (EMAILS! sorry, force of habit) which resulted in the surrender of Arnold’s forces at West Point.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
The Worst Bracket Breakdown on the Internet
I’m a dope. I get far too excited for the NCAA men’s basketball tournament each and every year. I treat the opening weekend like bacchanalia and neglect all adult duties. I inevitably end up with basketball fatigue if *my team* is eliminated. Yet here I am again. Like a virgin on prom night (and thousands of nights after because I’m the type of guy who has a tendency to become obsessively enthralled with all measure of nerd-dom) full of a fervor that can only be described as hormonal.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
A New NBA
In February rumors were abound regarding the possibility of NBA expansion. Commissioner Adam Silver has typically been quite conservative regarding potential expansion but he’s also a rail-thin white dude who gives perfect dap so let’s not suppose he’s anything less than pleasantly surprising. Several cities were mentioned as potential landing spots. Seattle, Lousville, Kansas City, Virginia Beach, Anaheim, Las Vegas, Anaheim, Mexico City and San Jose have all generated conversation to varying levels of authenticity as NBA host cities. There are basically four categories these cities fall in:
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Behold, the Hero Cometh
You only remember the time he blew in LeBron’s ear, huh? You are so naive. There are mysteries of the universe you couldn’t possibly imagine. We are but specks on a speck against the infinite backdrop of limitless space. I went to an observatory once and heard a lecture on planets that might replace Pluto as our solar system’s ninth batter. I couldn’t process it. Light years and gravitational power pictures sent from satellites from ten years in the past (or the future…I’m not sure, I was overwhelmed so I tried to eat the skittles I brought as quietly as possible and may have missed some things).
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Deja Vu-ing as Only the Clippers Can
It was never supposed to happen at all. That is what’s important to remember. The Clippers were supposed to go on being the (blah) Clippers forever. Blake Griffin’s knee knew the formula and did its part. Vinny Del Negro obliged. Donald Sterling lorded slums and kept upping the racism ante.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
America’s Black Athletic Conscience. Top Story - September 2017.
I am white. Too many of my musings require that disclaimer these days. But there it is, I am white. Therefore I have no idea how it felt as a black family to see Allen Iverson, braided and brash and black as dice craters snarl and spin his way to an MVP award.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
