J. Pagaduan
Bio
I write a little bit of everything, from short litfic pieces to epic length dark fantasy series, to poetry and essays about trauma.
Stories (29)
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Savior of the Damned. Content Warning.
It was supposed to be Demeter. She wasn’t supposed to die. Demeter was supposed to save the world. The prophecy machine chose her. Instead, they killed her, dragged her corpse off, and left Phaedra to defend a place that was going to fall no matter what anyone did.
By J. Pagaduanabout a year ago in Chapters
Savior of the Damned. Content Warning.
Eldren didn’t have time to waste, so he rushed down the hall. It was more crowded than normal, with people fleeing toward the ’dock, and a part of him wished he could grab Phae and escape with the others. But Phae was in an unwinnable situation. A request from Aurelius was bad news. Temple was the only force that stood a chance against the necromancer, but even Temple could only do so much against him. The cities that had a Temple were usually spared, but the Temple fleets that protected the non-Temple areas had more limited choices. Rumors on why Aurelius was trying to kill every living person had borne no fruit. In the two centuries since he had come into power, nation after nation had crumbled under his onslaught.
By J. Pagaduanabout a year ago in Chapters
Savior of the Damned. Content Warning.
April 15th, 1850 It was a beautiful spring day, one of the last cool ones before the summer heat set in. Phaedra should have been admiring the orange roses, cultivated by Temple as a symbol of hope. Instead, her thoughts were elsewhere. The voice that had led her to Sanctuary had fallen silent, and nothing she could do had brought it back. It left her restless and unsatisfied, like she had been cut adrift from the single thing that had guided to where she needed to be. It seemed that, at thirty-three, she would have accomplished more with her life. Sure, she was well known and well loved, but that was because of her sister. Not that she minded. It was just strange how the voice that guided her had fallen silent. It left her feeling unsatisfied, that she had gone so off track that the quiet whisper must have abandoned her.
By J. Pagaduanabout a year ago in Chapters
Savior of the Damned . Content Warning.
1817 It had been so long since Phaedra had slept in a bed she didn’t want to get out of it in the morning. The trek across what felt like all of Laralas with the other kids had been brutal. But Phaedra hadn’t realized how much it affected her until they arrived at Sanctuary and Temple took them in. A good hot meal, a bath, and a warm bed later made her tear up as she tried to sleep that night. It made her think of home and momentarily forget her parents were dead. Any minute there would be a call for breakfast: eggs, sausage, and rice if it was the weekend. Phaedra didn’t know. The raid on her home, and the flight to get away, was a distant memory. A bad dream that she was certain she could wake up from at any moment. Twelve was too young to leave everything behind. It was something that happened to other people, not her.
By J. Pagaduanabout a year ago in Chapters
Insomnia
Sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me. It’s the life of chronic anxiety disorders, but some days are more trying than others. It’s been so bad lately though that the cats are noticing, which means it’s probably worse than I realize if they’ve abandoned their favorite people to try to help me. I have to say though that head boops do help. It helps ground me, gives me something tactile to cling to and something to focus on that doesn’t require anything other than some pets in return.
By J. Pagaduan2 years ago in Confessions
