Gabrielle Carias

Finding Myself

Hello there! You’re probably wondering what a person who’s “finding themselves” can tell to someone who’s already established, but if i could have just a few minutes of your spare time I’d love to share my thoughts on said subject.....so here it goes. We won’t go back to childhood or teen years(I’d be writing all night if i did) so we’ll start with early adulthood. Have you ever stopped and just wondered to yourself “what is it exactly that i want in life?” Well I’ve been there too many times to count! But in my earlier 20’s, i only wanted one thing....freedom. Freedom from emotional stress, physical pains, mental breakdowns, spiritual bondage, financial strain, intellectual inabilities. It was pretty bad. And at some point i felt i could or should just try and tackle everything all at once so i can be happy and have minimum worries. Well that led to a series of mental and emotional traumas that became too much for me to handle on my own. Of course I sought help and assistance where it given and offered, but i still felt incomplete! So i began moving around a lot in search of my genuine happiness and guess what? I had to lose everything i had in my attempts of rushing to my happiness in or order for me to sit down and actually THINK about what it is I really want in life. When you’re soul searching, so much goes into it from moving to the right location, being around the right kind of people, having the right accommodations. I know it sounds like “oh she wants everything to be perfect and that’s impossible” but think about it. If you really want peace, happiness, freedom, and your own means of life wouldn’t being properly accommodated make that so much easier? Well, I’ve made a list which I add to weekly or monthly in the things i need to accomplish and aquire to get to where I’m going. Sometimes I’m able to mark things off pretty quickly feeling very productive and accomplished. But then i become content and lose sight of the bigger picture to my long term goals and things start slipping from the foundation up. Not this time tho. This time I won’t stop until I have everything I ever dreamed of, if i have to cross a couple of oceans to get to my dreams that’s exactly what I’ll do! My life lessons have been to love myself first, take care of me before trying to pull others along for the ride, enjoy the small things i do have, when red flags appear take heed instead of being soooo optimistic,& focus and determination gets you a lot further then taking giant leaps of faith every single time!