Ezra
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Self Love - True Love
Lying on the bathroom floor with tears pooling below me all the cracks of my world began to show. The weight of every broken dream I once held in my heart for the man on the other side of the door made me sink further into the floor with despair. I was finally allowing myself to question who I had become, how did I get there. Had I really moved across an entire country for love? What was I thinking? The whole predicament was like a jagged puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit with the bigger picture. We had been living together for about eight months, yet there were so many things we didn’t know about one another. The clarity of that moment showed me that I was meeting a side of him I hadn’t predicted and it was quite possibly the very first time in my life that I lost trust in myself. I was never wrong about people, it was my super power. I thought back to the night we sat pinched together in that pocket sized wine bar in NYC when he accidentally spilled his glass of merlot into my lap. He was mortified which I found to be charming. It wasn’t a big deal to me, I was wearing all black, but you could see him calculating exactly how much the misstep would cost him. He had flown into town on a whim after a chance meeting we had a month or two prior. I was in Atlanta on a trip to see my sister through a breakup and in need to blow off some steam one evening we went out for drinks, that’s when I first met Damon. My sister introduced us actually, later having admitted she wished she hadn’t. When I said I was moving to Atlanta to give things a go with him she was only thinking of having me near. Whether or not the circumstances proved healthy for me in the long run was an afterthought. As for me I was deeply in love and ready for whatever came next. In the beginning everything was light and airy, full of promise and romance. Jet setting up and down the coast falling in love with each embrace. It all happened so fast, before either of us knew it we were picking out furniture together. Somehow it made sense to jump head first with that one and so I did. A whirlwind utopian love only to be lived to the fullest. In other words we were seizing the damn day and throwing all caution to the wind like the ignorant children we were. Young lovers playing house, living in a bubble. Older me crack a cynical smile at the thought of it all, but also appreciates the naivety of my younger self. She was in love like never before, good for her. Silly girl.
By Ezra 4 years ago in Motivation
