Moth To A Flame
Although I am an artist, none of this back-piece was planned or intentional. The design developed over time and each part of it carried me spiritually forward on my journey. Because I believe in a multidimensional reality, I believe I designed it from my future incarnation/self to help guide me along my path of mental health and spiritual development. I had no concept of the end result when it began, much of how my artwork is conceived. I believe, through my artwork, I always had a channel to higher dimensions and ideas/ my higher self, without yet knowing it. The tattoo developed itself like a story over a number of years, marking turning points in my life. It started off with the deaths head moth (Acherontia atropos) on the left. It was also an ode to the three fates in Greek mythology, Their names were: Clotho “The Spinner”, Lachesis “The Alloter” and Atropos “The Unturning" or “The Inflexible”. Atropos cut the thread of life, the moth landing on my shoulder signified a reminder during my depression that the thread of life can be cut any moment try to appreciate it. Unfortunately it was on my back so I wasn't reminded very often, but I suppose the idea stayed with me. I struggled a lot in my young adult and teenage years with mental illness due to unresolved trauma that kept me stuck in negative patterns. This led me to see the world as a very dark and threatening place, which I self medicated in unfortunate ways. My untreated mental state and inner wounding led me to walk down a not so good path, and I really harmed myself and those around me. This is especially why today I am a mental health awareness advocate, to make sure to end the stigma and support more resources for mental health awareness. I always felt like a moth, in the dark and guided towards the light. They were the first ever spirit animal that resonated with me and so it is special to me in that way. I discovered later after healing from my mental illness, that I have unique gifts such as shamanic abilities and I am closely perceptive of the spirit world and energy. Next, a few years later on my journey, I decided to balance the idea with a colorful Luna moth. Luna moths are very beautiful and only live for a week! I thought this beautiful tragedy was worth noting, a beautiful twist of the impermanence I was suffocating under. After years of suffering mental illness, I found hope in practicing meditation and spiritual practices and awareness. I like incorporating inspiration from the world around me, as if to weave the living breathing universe into my experience and art as an ongoing conversation. My friend drew the flame of (spiritual) awareness inspired by Tibetan Buddhism art for my forearm initially and I spontaneously decided to have them go over my moths as wings. Specifically to burn them in the flames. Intentionally, to burn the past. An alchemical ode to my experience of transformation as a transformational art piece. I appreciate that it all happened organically also, which made it feel more special and unique, unlike it being planned from the beginning as a concept. It is like my "Higher Self" sent my past self symbols and messages to carry me through difficult and dark times. The growth of this tattoo without a prior preconception led me to understand how powerful I am, and always was. Even when my mind was clouded with my unfortunate circumstances and self- doubt, underneath it all I was strongly pulling myself through.
