DR UMAR FAROOQ

I Was Lost — Until a Voice Called Me Back

I was lost, not just in the sense that I didn’t know where I was going in life, but in the deeper way, where every morning felt like a battle between pretending to be fine and silently falling apart, where dreams faded like smoke and every mirror reflected someone I didn’t recognize anymore, where I kept asking myself what happened to the person who used to believe in possibilities, who once laughed freely, who once thought that everything could be rebuilt with effort and faith, but then time, failures, rejections, and loneliness slowly carved me into someone who only survived days instead of living them, I remember walking through those silent streets after losing my job, with an empty wallet and a heavier heart, trying to convince myself that maybe this was just a phase, maybe something better was waiting, but deep inside I had already started believing that nothing good ever waited for me, and that thought was the scariest because once you stop expecting good things, life starts becoming a gray loop where nothing matters, I spent nights staring at the ceiling listening to the clock tick, thinking about all the people I’d disappointed, all the dreams I’d buried, all the promises I’d broken, I kept scrolling through social media, watching people smile, travel, succeed, while I couldn’t even find the courage to smile at myself, I started avoiding calls, friends, and even family because I didn’t know how to explain that I wasn’t lazy or ungrateful, I was just tired — tired of trying, tired of losing, tired of pretending, and that tiredness slowly turned into silence, until one day, I decided to take a long walk without any direction, just letting my feet decide where to go, the wind was cold, the sky heavy, and for a moment I thought maybe disappearing wouldn’t make a difference to anyone, I reached the edge of a bridge and stood there quietly, not thinking of ending it, but thinking of how easily life can end itself when the soul gives up, and as I stood there lost in my emptiness, my phone rang, it was an unknown number, I almost ignored it but something in me said “pick it up,” and I did, and a soft voice said, “Hello, is this Mark? I don’t know if you remember me, but you once helped me years ago when I was struggling,” and that one line froze me, I couldn’t even remember her name, but she continued, “I just wanted to say thank you, your words back then saved me, and today I’m doing better, and I wanted you to know that you made a difference,” and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe, because while I thought I was nothing, someone out there believed I was the reason they survived, I didn’t know what to say, I just stood there with tears streaming down, realizing that maybe life sends voices when you’re about to quit, voices that remind you who you really are, and sometimes that voice comes from a stranger, a friend, or even from your own heart, whispering, “you still matter,” I walked back home that day not because everything was fixed, but because something inside me had shifted, I started believing again, not in miracles, but in the quiet possibility that healing is real, that hope can be rebuilt brick by brick, that sometimes the smallest kindness we offer returns years later to save us, and from that day, I promised myself to keep walking no matter how lost I felt, because the truth is, no one stays lost forever, not when there’s even one voice left that believes in them, I started writing again, working again, failing again but differently, because now I knew that failure didn’t define me, quitting did, and I wasn’t going to quit anymore, I began appreciating small things — the morning sun on my face, the taste of cheap coffee, the laughter of a stranger, the smell of rain — and slowly life started giving back in small doses, opportunities showed up, new faces appeared, and each time I wanted to give up, I remembered that phone call, that voice, that moment on the bridge when something invisible pulled me back, and I realized maybe that was the universe’s way of saying, “your story isn’t over yet,” and truly, it wasn’t, because each day after that became a new chapter, not perfect, but honest, not bright, but alive, and I think that’s what being found really means — not that everything becomes easy or beautiful, but that you stop walking away from yourself, I started helping others online, sharing small messages of hope without expecting anything, and one day I received a message from someone saying, “your words helped me keep going today,” and I smiled because it felt like life had come full circle, the same way that girl once called me, now I had become that voice for someone else, and that’s when I understood that pain is never wasted, it transforms into purpose if you let it, every wound becomes a whisper of strength, every dark night teaches you how to see light, and every fall teaches you how to rise softer but stronger, I’m still figuring life out, still afraid sometimes, still uncertain, but never lost the way I used to be, because I’ve learned that being lost is sometimes how you get found, that silence can heal louder than noise, and that one small act of kindness — even a simple word — can save someone who’s about to give up, I was lost once, deeply, painfully, completely, until a voice called me back, and now every time I hear someone say they’re done, I tell them this story, not to sound wise or brave, but because I know how it feels to be standing on that bridge wondering if anyone would care, and I want them to know that someone will, maybe not today, maybe not the way they expect, but one day, a voice will reach them too, just like one reached me, and it will remind them that they’re still part of something bigger than pain, bigger than failure, bigger than loneliness, and that’s why I keep moving, writing, breathing, because even if no one sees it, I know that somewhere, my existence could be the voice that calls someone else back from the edge, and that, more than anything, gives my life meaning again.