Dana Conklin

Purposeful Living?

It started when I woke up one day to a knock at my door. I lived in a dorm room with forty women. One woman came in asking me if I could go with her to get a flu shot and I said yes, of course. This one favor may not seem like it could lead to a whole turn around of my lifestyle, but it did when she had a favor a day. Soon, I was pushing my own responsibilities. I stopped going to the gym, eating when I was hungry, doing my laundry every week, and making my bed every day. My own responsibilities did not compare to taking care of others. I resented my friends and the people I spent time with because it felt more like a chore than my own choice. By spending time with others, I knew I could push my anxieties and depression to the back of my mind. Until, they would come out at my least convenience: at the grocery store, falling asleep at night, or in class. All I ever wanted was to be alone and sleep. Sleep because I hadn't slept that night and be alone because my friends weren't real friends. I was a puppet, completing their tasks and making them happy. Where was my happiness?