Dan Zhang

Joined May 2025

7 stories

Bio

Dan writes about gift ideas such as funny personalized gifts, cat memorial gifts and custom gifts for nana. If not working, you'll likely find him scouting photo spots for his monthly club contest, or talking to his beloved dog-daughter.

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Funny New Year's Resolutions for Realists 2026
Note: This article was originally published on Dan Customify on December 31, 2025. The Egg Portfolio A matchmaking poster for singles that says: "Seeking a long-term partner with egg assets of 12+ per week." A matchmaking poster for singles that says: "Seeking a long-term partner with egg assets of 12+ per week." Emergency fund: Maintain a minimum of 12 eggs in your fridge at all times. Weekly ritual: Stand in front of the grocery store cooler for 5 minutes and whisper, "Eggs are the new Bitcoin" while making intense eye contact with other shoppers. Launch #EggfolioChallenge on TikTok. Replace your family photos with screenshots of egg commodity prices. When neighbors ask to borrow eggs, present them with a formal lending agreement. Interest rate: 3% monthly (payable in bacon). Install a GPS tracker on your fridge programmed to alert: "UNAUTHORIZED APPENDAGE DETECTED NEAR ORGANIC ASSET CLASS A." Master 5 tactical self-defense moves using only a spatula. Primary objective: Defend grocery bags from curious pedestrians. Paste a sign on your window: "This premises is monitored by Real-Time Egg Futures Data. Breaking this window will trigger an SEC investigation." Add to your "reasons to end friendships" list: "Uses two eggs for Eggs Benedict" (Ranked #3, right after "voted for that guy" and "doesn't tip service workers"). Update your dating profile: "Seeking long-term partner with egg assets ≥12/week. Free-range preferred. Must take commodity seriously." Daily meditation: Sit with a hard-boiled egg, close your eyes, and chant: "The shell may crack, but my portfolio will not." Subscribe to Eggonomics Weekly. Never read it. Just let the unread badge sit at 47. When your kid asks why Santa brings socks instead of eggs, play a supercut of Federal Reserve chairman testimonies about inflation. Write a country breakup song: "She Left Me for a Man with a Costco Executive Membership Card."
By Dan Zhang8 days ago in 01
Drowning in Data (2) - Opening a Deceased's Phone
Part 2 of a 4-Part Series: Between Memorializing and Moving On: Why Families Get Bogged Down in the Digital Legacy Mire Handling the digital legacy of a deceased person is far more intricate than sorting through physical belongings. It not only stirs the deepest emotions of the living but also navigates legal gray areas and profound ethical questions, posing a stern challenge to every grieving family.
By Dan Zhang7 months ago in Families
Drowning in Data (1) - The Dawn of the Digital Graveyard
Part 1 of a 4-Part Series: Drowning in Data—How Serious is the Digital Legacy Problem? Digital legacy, once a fringe topic, is rapidly becoming a universal issue facing every modern family. It is no longer a concern for a select few; its enormous scale, rapid growth, and the degree to which it is overlooked warrant our serious consideration. When our lives end, what becomes of the vast traces we leave in the digital world—social media accounts, cloud photos, emails, and even cryptocurrencies? This is not just a technical challenge; it touches the very core of our emotional attachments and family memories.
By Dan Zhang7 months ago in Families
The Uncharted Path
Beyond the Treadmill: Reclaiming Inner Pace For years, Dan felt like a perpetual motion machine, caught in the relentless current of professional life. The echoes of a movie line he'd heard long ago – "If the body runs too fast, the soul can’t keep up" – became an uncanny prophecy of his own post-graduate reality. The demands of society, the relentless churn of the workplace, and the weight of family obligations kept him in an unending sprint. He was a driven force, moving from investigative journalism to the fast-paced world of marketing and public relations, each role demanding more speed than reflection. The richness of thought, the quiet contemplation, all felt sacrificed to the unyielding clock.
By Dan Zhang7 months ago in Motivation
Reddit's Funniest Personalized Gift Ideas for 2025
Introduction Cathy from marketing has received her 20th "Best Mom" mug. Does she need a 21st? The gift-giving philosophy for 2025 is simple. Make them laugh so hard they spit out their coffee, or get ready to accept that your gift will be in the regifting pile. The magic of funny personalized gifts lies in their ability to transform "inside jokes" into tangible items, prompting recipients to share on social media with comments like, "This is the most outrageous thing I've ever received!"
By Dan Zhang8 months ago in Humor
Heartfelt & Personalized Gifts for Mom from Daughter
As a Daughter Who Became a Mom, I Finally Understood In July 2024, I became a mother myself. This change truly opened my eyes to what being a "Mom" really means. When my baby whispers in my ear, or when I open the door after work to see that little face break into a huge smile just for me… my heart melts!
By Dan Zhang8 months ago in Families
How to Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship?
I know many of you might be in a long-distance relationship. It's not easy, but it's definitely worth it if you truly love each other. Let me share some tips with you all.
By Dan Zhang8 months ago in Marriage