Coline Buencamino

Becoming Gorgeous

From a young age, I’ve always hated my body. I remember crying myself to sleep because I was so frustrated with my height. My self-critical voice was telling me I had an ugly, unattractive body. My arms are fat, feet are freakishly small, my face is too round, I need to weigh X amount to be happy, etc... It was nearly impossible to have a grounded sense of self confidence at the time. As a teenager, seven pretzels and a ½ cup of watermelon counted as a meal. Thinking lowly of myself was habitual, and I felt so much shame around it. Eating out with friends was like stepping on eggshells. It became truly part of who I was, and who I still am. My lightbulb moment was around two years ago, as I was coordinating a college event advocating for body positivity. There I was, feeling horrible at how I ate a piece of a graham cracker. Ridiculous, I know. I knew then and there I had to make an effort for my own livelihood.