Cheyenne Hall

The autobiography of Cheyenne D. Hall

Well, I have written one of these on my personal computer, but never finished it because my charger doesn't work well and I haven’t been able to charge it but that doesn’t matter.How about we start when I was way younger to start this writing off.Well I used to have a happy life when I was younger, and I was close with my parents and only siblings at the time, but as time passed on we became more distant and I noticed that my mother and father would fight all the time and I hated it.Then my dad started to hurt my mom badly, and it got so bad once that I had to step in between them so he would stop and he did that day, and no he didn’t end up hitting me or my brothers, but I did get scared and think he would try at times although he didn’t I still thought he would.Eventually, I had become depressed which I didn’t know that is what it was at the time, but I would cry myself to sleep every night and blame everything that happened to my mom on myself even though it wasn’t my fault, but I felt that it was at the time and eventually my mom left because she was tired of it and she was getting sick from it.As I grew up me and my brothers would fuss all the time making us even more distant than we were at first, and I forgot my dad was there with us because he would be in his room drinking all the time and that angered me very much, but my depression swallowed the anger adding more fuel to its fire.I grew older and I started to want to live with my mom because she well basically manipulated me into living with her, and I was too young to realize it and I lived with her for 3 years, and she made my depression worse and I used to harm myself and suicidal thoughts ran through my head all day every day.One day I was almost past my breaking point and the girl told me “I don’t care about you, your worthless and you should just go drop dead.” and I told her in front of people I was around and my friends “Maybe I should go end my life..it is worthless anyway and no one loves me and people barely notice that I even exist so why not..” my friends looked at me concerned, and I was just crying and one of my friends went to the gym coach since we were in the gym when this happened and told them what was going on, and they called me and the girl down.I was sent to the counselor’s office to talk about it and she convinced me not to, I told her not to call my mom but she did anyways and addressed the situation, and then, later on, I arrived at home, and I walked in and threw my stuff down on the floor and my mom told me to sit down and talk to her and I did for hours and I steadily cried and she pulled me to her and held me in her arms and said “ Don’t you ever let those thoughts cross your mind and don’t even think about taking your life because it won’t take away the pain” I nodded, but I still had the thoughts trapped in my head. Eventually, my mom got a boyfriend and we would hang out at his house, and one day on my dad’s birthday a tornado hit and it picked up the trailer we were in turning it in the air, and I prayed the whole time saying “Jesus please keeps us safe in your hands I do not want to die yet, I am afraid and I am willing to put my life in your hands.” my back hit the support beam that was on the roof, and my head hit a table knocking me unconscious and I shot out the window after my mom, and I thought I had broken my leg cause I couldn't walk but then my mom’s boyfriend picked me up and carried me over to my mom besides a fallen down tree and I could barely stand cause it hurt too.We went across the street to his mom’s house and she wasn’t there but her door was unlocked so we went in, and it hurt so bad to sit down and it felt like I had a cut on my back and I looked over to my mom and told her, and she said: “It is ok your back is probably just wet from the rain.”I slid my hand over the area that felt like it was bleeding, and looked and saw blood I showed it to my mom, and said “I told you it felt like my back was bleeding” then I wiped it off and her boyfriend came in and said “get up we are going to the hospital and my mom is bringing us” so we slowly got up from our backs hurting so much, and his mom pulled up and we go into the car and we rushed to the hospital after an hour or so we arrived, and we were immediately rushed into rooms to be checked on and I was feeling so anxious, and I was in so much pain and they were asking what happened, and I told them as much as I could remember.I stayed in the hospital for 2 or 3 days and I was in pain and I looked at the scratch it went down from under my shoulder blades to my lower back, I was very lucky to have survived it though. Now we start with the present time of my life, well I am 14 currently and my life hasn’t gotten any better than what it was.I am currently living with one of my grandparents and one of my brothers, and my grandma is a very petty, manipulative, controlling grandma who doesn’t give me or my brother any freedom. She is almost always fussing, and falsely stating that she has to beg people to do things for her to make them feel bad, and help her out which if I am not mistaken that is a form of manipulation.The three main ways she likes to manipulate me and other people are dishonesty, passive-aggressive behavior, and gaslighting.If you look at different types of manipulation all three of those are on the list, so feel free to look it up if you don’t believe those are forms of manipulation. Anyways, enough about her next person I want to talk about is my dad and I have a lot to say about him, well he is currently married to my stepmom and she has 4 children of her own that live with her and my dad. Anyways enough about that let's get back to topic about my dad, well he is an alcholic still and he always has his head stuck up my step moms but all the time. He doesn't spend anytime with me or my siblings, it is at the point where he has nothing to do with us me and my siblings are lucky for him to even say "hi" or anything at all to us. Also what I am about to tell you hurt me a lot since my dad kept this from me, and I had to hear it from my stepmom.(I have been writing this for a few months now, but it is currently Wednesday, April 28th at 2:10 A.M.) I know she is telling the truth about this because I have known her long enough to know she won't lie to me, and she never has before, but let's get to the point so long story short my dad is only planning on spending time with my only full-blooded brother which is the one I live with, and I have talked to my grandma about my dad needing to spemd time with me yelling it out to her and sobbing when my brother just had a neutral face when he said it, but my dad only decided to listen to my brother's request. So I have concluded that my dad wants nothing at all to do with me, and when my brother does something wrong somehow I am the one who is complained to and gets in trouble for it. Not only that, but when I ask my dad to help me with something he makes up excuses not to do it, then when my brother asks for help he tries his best to find time to help him. So that also tells me that my brother is his favorite child. Also, there is another thing I would share, but I think it would go against the Vocal Media Policy so I won't be sharing that information. This is all I have to say about how my life has been so far, and after I publish this tonight I will most likely be trying to sleep due to my needing to get up early in the morning. If I get a good review on this I might decide to write some articles or short stories, but for now, I am only publishing this autobiography.