Cheryl Doan

The Journey Home

On a cold blistery night when Samantha got the phone call that her mother was being rushed to the hospital, she was hours away and had a million regrets running through her mind. Why did she agree to put her in a home she thought to herself, why wasn't she with her? Why did she get married?Her guilt was just overwhelming. Only one person was allowed at the hospital and her sister Jamie was in town so she made it there first. Overwhelmed by it all it, not long after did the second phone call come. Sam was too late, she made a short stop to grab a bottle and a bag to kill the pain . Again with so many regrets flashing before her eyes Sam was a complete mess, battling drug addiction since sixteen, her father a recovering alcoholic when he passed. He and Sam were alot alike but Sam was very young when he passed. Sam started on her journey home not realizing that for the first time she was going on the journey of her life. She drank, smoked and drove, drank, smoked and drove until eventually the car died and she finally gave up and peacefully laid her head down. Waking up suddenly she thought to herself everything must've been a dream . Sam started the car and to her surprise it started right up. She felt a sense of calm and protection so she drove to the nearest town to get her car looked at. The shop was busy and couldn't get the car in till the next day. Sam went to the nearest motel to unwind her mind and soul. Laying in bed crying her heart out all the sudden Sam had an intuition to look under the mattress, to her surprise there was one single dime. She was always told growing up dimes is a loved on looking over you. Growing up was no treat dad drank but eventually got sober and she knew then it was a sign from him. Sam had a brief bout of sobriety and during this time she found dimes which to her felt like her dad was close but she couldn't figure out what it was although it soothed her and gave sense of peace she never felt before. Sam's childhood was no bed of roses. Her mom worked and Sam always competed with her older sister Maggie. Jamie was the oldest sister that married her highschool sweet heart and had the happy life. so Maggie helped raise Sam but with only a year apart Sam resented Maggie because she was always referred to as Maggie's little sister and got all Maggie's hand me downs and Maggie resented Sam because she always had to take Sam with her. Maggie married soon after and went off to live the happy life too and eventually they grew further apart. Sam lived with her mom Grace up until she married shortly only a year before Grace passed away. Sam slept like a baby that night and woke feeling refreshed and with a sense of self she never felt before. She cleaned up got dressed and handed in her key to the front desk. It was a short walk to the garage and the sun was shining the birds were chirping and Sam even stopped in the park to smell the flowers. She entered the garage to pick up her car which was ready. The mechanic handed her her keys and said enjoy your journey she thought it was weird but answered I plan too which she thought was weird too. On the road again driving for which felt like hours but only one hour away she didn't even turn the radio on she just drove by herself and for once was okay by herself which she knew was now more a reality than ever now that her mom her best friend Grace had passed. She felt somewhat grounded it was a calm she had never felt before . She finally pulled up to the gates of her childhood home .She drove up the drive and took a deep breathe before stepping out of the car. Her feet hit the pavement and she felt a sense of being grounded , the darkness she always felt returning home was gone. She finally didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations but her own . She had choices and a sense of self. She walked up the steps opened the door with her key and to her surprise the house was empty. Sam was so relieved. Sam raced up the stairs to her moms room where she laid on the bed talking to her angel now in heaven when again her intuition told her to look under the mattress and there it was a dime and 20,ooo in an envelope and a small black notebook .Wrote on the first page it said, You were meant to find this recipe book and the envelope .This is god giving you what you cannot understand , you are not different, you are special, follow your intuition, tap into the spiritual world with your ancestors and take what you have learned and share it with the world. On the second page it said learn from your lessons Divine timing is everything and sometimes you are meant to keep somethings to yourself because you are special . So go live your life but always remember the lessons you have learned . On the rest of the pages were family recipes handed down from generation to generation. Sam took her 20,000 from her mom's mattress and her family recipes and bought a restaurant and has never looked back. She helps today to feed the less fortunate and that's by the grace of god. Sam found her calling in life she is in recovery giving back what lessons she has learned in life trying to make the world a better place.