Cerina Galvan
Bio
I’m an active writer who dreams of writing tales that inspire people.
Stories (42)
Filter by community
The Love She Gives
For a long time, I searched for what could fulfill me being disappointed in myself if it didn’t work out or if it just plain didn’t seem like what I thought it would seem like. But early this week I had a discovery within after doing much self-discovering especially after I was forced too in order to get over a mental illness, I had subjected to a couple of years back. I realized that someone like me searches and searches for something to fulfill us only to find an emptiness in trying to fit into the world around us. What I mean by that is we expect something to fulfill us only to find that it isn’t that something that can fulfill us but what rather what can come from within. Within, what does that even mean? I realized that for so long I was escaping myself trying to be someone else because I didn’t like who I thought I was or what I saw in the mirror. Losing myself completely in a mental illness that brought me into such a dark place I can’t even begin to describe the agony that comes with it. Then, I realized only recently that the only way I can overcome this is if I learn to find ways in which the little things, I’m able to do. I’m able to fall in love with about myself. So, I realized I was a pretty good writer when I was able to complete essay after essay in college and get good grades on it. When I was younger, a teacher told me that my ability to describe something at such a young age was remarkable and I’ll never forget that. It’s not just writing where I find myself feeling happy to express myself in a way that is presumably better then when I’m speaking but my ability to listen to someone and give them my best short affiliated advice to help them in their life. My ability to understand someone is the best part of me and that is when I find myself most fulfilled. However, it is my greatest weakness because I tend to forgive very easily sometimes in an instant I forgive. Which can cause me more hurt then justice in life. But I rather not focus on that fear. Instead I would like to tell a little story where I saved a life by understanding them. My best friend had the greatest most complicated mother and she had an impeccable physical illness where the lungs start to slowly collapse. She was so afraid of COVID-19 that she stayed couped up in her room all day. My best friend worked at amazon for a living and while he was there his mom fell and couldn’t pick herself up, so the paramedics came broke the door down and took her to a rehab. She was having trouble breathing and there or at the hospital they sent her too is where we believe she got COVID-19. She unfortunately passed away from it not too long after. Me and him where so devastated we cried for hours while he told me on the phone that she was gone, and he couldn’t believe it. It was when I understood his pain from losing my aunt years ago when I was young. That I told him, “I know this pain it’s unlike any other pain in the world”. “There is no way to fix it but the only way to get through it and allow your feelings to feel”. That was the best advice I could give him. We all experience trauma differently and while he went out with a new friend one night and drank his life away. While, swallowing pain pills and the attempt to put the push the pain away with alcohol and drugs lead to him almost dying. I went to the hospital and luckily, they let me in. I held his hand and I told him I understood why he tried to take the pain away and to please come back because I needed him. He woke up and the guilt he felt was all over his face. I told him not to feel that way we all make mistakes and ever since I’ve known him, he’s always been strong. This time it wasn’t something that he could be strong about and I understood. He recovered thankfully and now he calls me every week, or I call him, and we talk about his pain before he does something mistakenly. It has been six months since then and I have thankfully been able to get through to him on many occasions. It’s a hard task but I know pain all too well not to feel it with him.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Fiction
The Revelation of Emily Dickinson
If you enjoyed the underestimating powerful script of Little Women then you will be delighted in the new series also about a female writer back in time trying to establish herself in the world. I highly recommend watching the riveting tale, Dickinson, a story of two lovers who encounter each other at a young age. In this time, they grow to be around twenty years old an age where love an adventure is purely guided by intense longings for love. This story follows Emily Dickinson a rebellious poet who is foreseen by her family to be placed in a box of duties she must attend to and comes forth to be her real self when around the portrayal of the love of her life, Sue. This Apple TV recommendation is a series of ten episodes each season and ended in an explosion of season two. I’m almost certain, given its highly talked about plot and nuance. It will come forth a third season of the same fascinatingly complicated love story that pours your heart out and leaves you with a sense of wanting more. It revolves around the kindle between the two lovers who are known to become best friends but immediately for Emily, Sue is said to be her most favorite person in the world as she describes her. It starts off with a lovely innocence of love in each of their representation of character. While colliding into a cathartic ending to season two that leaves you on the edge of your seat and yelling for more. In the beginning, first episode in, there is a short narrative that explains Emily and who she was in a short intro to the rest of the story. It is explained in such a way that leaves you curious of her life, the 2,000 poems she left behind and why she wasn’t known for her writings while living. Then it transitions into her laying on her bed getting an idea to write something, its almost suspenseful. Her first lines then renders you into the era of time where she was not only writing such beautiful poetry about her mind, soul, nature, life, and love, but experiencing a time where women were not seen as “genius”. But rather domestic disputes where she had to worship the ground men walked on and rely on them to be seen. It is the twisting of those two worlds, the ones of romanticizing life with her poems and then living in a blatant reality that leaves you with such wonder. Not only does the plot leave you in awe, the soundtrack allows you to encounter the modern eras contrast to the older era. Although the designing of it all is obviously set into the 1860s, it seems they add a stir of modern-day talk, controversies a woman faces, and realism to enhance the audiences appeal. Not only are the two main characters an appeal to the audiences but characters like her sister Lavinia, Austin, her mother and father add a modern-day humor and drama that leave you trapped in the lives of all the Dickinson’s. She doesn’t appear to want to follow in her mom’s footsteps as a woman of domesticity and comedically dramatic renders an outspoken approach to handling the way her mother so intrusively wants her to be married with kids like her. In the beginning she immediately explains who she to become, a great writer, leaving you wanting to embark on the journey ahead with her. It isn’t only the screenplay, dialogue, and display of different characters that leave you with such interest. Yet, it is also the perfect fit of acting that leaves you enthralled in the main character that Hailee Steinfeld plays. She portrays her character so fearlessly authentic that it gives you chills when she makes poems about her life and Sue. It the ways she explains her love for poetry and Sue that captures your spirits and almost gives you an angst to thirst for more revelation on her life. Immediately you contemplate her life and you go on a journey that relates to the female hardships of being pushed to be someone so specifically in society while she fights her own self of being the incredible writer she wants to be. But it is the chemistry between Sue and Emily that leaves you with your heart throbbing and almost if not completely in tears as they explore their love for each other through poems and letters so courageously.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Poets
How to make sense of schizophrenia and psychosis
From experience, I would say psychosis is a way of making sense of the world in our own way. It is more than just a mental disease. It can be dark and unusual to many people, but to the person experiencing it, it is more so a challenge a mere illusion and battle with the nature of societal expectations of reality. To me, normal life is quite evil and tricky. At least, what people who perceive normal entails it to be. Yet, everyone experiences their own realities in a way that makes sense to them. For me, my psychosis makes sense to me. Although it can be hard to deal with since it is different from the norm, it entails a story that is quite beautiful. Comparing it to the real world it can be eccentric and completely unique to itself. Honestly, I believe people are programmed to act a certain way and believe a certain way for the benefit of societal control. An example of this is our bodies, I'm not trying to say our bodies shouldn't be nourished, they should be, and health is a major factor in the reasoning of the existence of psychosis. I believe and I have yet to find factual evidence on this, but I think the negative connotation in our minds is connected to our malnourished body, the toxic energy we are given from foods like outside chemicals effects our entire being. However, I believe that psychosis can be a positive notion in our minds as long as we feed it positivity and recreate a world that can be seen as wonderful. If my world is different from yours, that doesn't mean I'm psychotic it means my values and views are different from yours and what kind of world would we be living in if we all thought the same, a boring a pointless one. We are all just trying to make sense of our lives. In the words of Professor Fletcher at Gresham College, he states that the brain is striving to make sense of the world, confess a ready-made tendency to deviate from reality and to create its own world. For me, the world we live in is quite evil and the world I tend to live inside my head is a lot more beautiful. We have perceptions of the world that makes sense of the sensory electrical signals from heat, light, and force. Professor Fletcher from Gresham College said, “We are direct recipients of reality we are decoding the signals we receive”. So, in this statement he is saying that our psychology has a message for us trying to make sense of the life around us. We associate our senses with the data our brain is receiving, what we have already known and learned. A lot of which we hold onto are traumatizing events in the past. Because it impacts a lasting impact on our feelings, Maya Angelou said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. An example I experience with psychosis is hearing my mom say she hates me even though she never said that. It’s a feeling perceived by thought through my sense from what I’ve learned about and felt in the past. I have yet to heal from my hyper-sensitivity stages. This is not to say my mom didn’t do her best at trying to raise me, she did her best at what she knew. It is that my own perceptions of the world is different and highly sensitive toward the actions of others and what I’ve learned from them.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Psyche
Little Black Book
It was time for me to go, not just go away for a little while but forever. I could hear the voices telling me that everything about my family was wrong and everything I am is going to change the world. Where would I even go? I felt hopeless that my family will never accept me as the chosen one, so I believed I was because the command hallucinations pretended they were Godlike and informed me that I was to become someone else. I kept a journal in a small black book to understand the delusions that were going on in my head that I could not control. I told my mom I was the chosen one and had to fight Satan. She looked at me with confusion and horror in her eyes. As my dad woke up from his sleep, he asked what I meant. I repeated myself, “I’m the chosen one and had to fight Satan from you guys” He looked at me the same way my mom did. Then, I knew they wouldn’t understand.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Futurism
A New Beginning
I was very skeptical about the future coming to the end of 2020, I had experienced such gradual mental hardships in the past year then I had ever in my life. It doesn’t help that the world has been conquered by COVID-19 fears and allegations about the sickness. You can’t help but wonder sometimes if it’s the end of the world or when is it all going to be over. I had hoped that the New Year coming meant things were going to change that my mental health was going to change. However, after reading so much about my mental illness and trying to be as positive as I could be, it just didn’t seem that anything was going to change. I had never in my life wanted it to all end then I did in 2020 and I’m not sure if 2021 is going to be better. In order for me to continue to be as healthy and prospering as possible. I’ve realized that it’s important to stick to being grateful for anything that has to come in 2021 but I know after encountering doctors and my family. I’ve considered that it is important for me to realize that bettering yourself as a person is what really is going to count despite the fact that I have Schizophrenia. I have to become more mindful, disciplined, and creative with what I spend my time on. The first task I want to conquer is my health, I started fasting to clear my mind and body from toxins that have entered my system and has taken over my overall physical and mental health. It’s been hard, sometimes I felt so tired and hungry that I couldn’t get up in the morning, but I’m forced too because some of the dreams I have are about my delusions I had on the beginning of my newly found diagnosis. It is always about me being this chosen one and having to save people from the world. Or sometimes they get so jealous they try to kill me but can’t because I have special abilities to keep them from hurting me. I can’t shake these dream’s; they enter my mind over and over again. I start to think that it might be reality sometimes for me, maybe I am this special person that people are trying to destroy. Then I talk it out with myself and humble myself all over again. It isn’t an easy task and most of the time I feel like I’m being punished. Yet, I’ve decided to take this into accountability and not only work on my physical health but my mental coming into this new year. I know it’s going to be a challenge and sometimes I will fail but other times I believe I can triumph. As long as I believe I am smart enough to conquer these delusions and voices I hear during the day I can help others. My ultimate goal is to become so wrapped up in understanding myself that I can understand and relate to others with the same diagnosis. I hope, for that is what makes me want to get up in the morning and continue this health binge, too become so intelligent in the dynamics of Schizophrenia. That I enter a new world of gratification and a new reality that sets aside the hardships and gives others hope that you can become someone great in the midst of the challenge of mental health. I know I have to take baby steps to get there and the first step is to become involved in a program called Students with Psychosis online. I have really come to admire the founders of this organization and realize that it is my ultimate desire to interact with others that have the same unique obstacle being faced.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Psyche
Mindful Dreams
When I was young all I really wanted was to know who I was and be recognized for the task I would take on to become someone recognizable to the world. Little did I know that task would be a whirlwind of ups and downs that I would learn from. It all started with basketball, one dribble at a time, one shot in the hoop just to make me feel like I could accomplish a job given to me. A job that I believed was my god given right since I grew to love it. However, just because you love something doesn’t always mean it’s for you. This is what I had to learn early on. Some dreams aren’t meant for you and that is something I had to learn to be okay with the hard way. However, I didn’t learn this for a while and didn’t realize I was learning it up until I had a moment of severe discipline as I would like to recall. That story is for later on in this entry. Basketball on a team in. a college disciplined scenario was a lot harder than I thought. Despite the ongoing athletic training I had to undergo and the endless hell week of testing my abilities giving it my all. I didn’t make the team and my heart was shattered. I felt like I could at least be a substitute for the team but even the coach told me you just don’t have the skills to play and that hurt like nothing I’ve ever experienced in life. Although, I had to move on my big heart couldn’t settle for something complacent, it had to be something amazing, something that could change me forever and it did. I decided to take on theatre arts and what a journey that would become.
By Cerina Galvan5 years ago in Motivation
