Billy G. James

Joined February 2021

21 stories

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Stories (21)

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The Shattered Soul
The mirror showed a reflection that wasn’t my own. She stood facing away from me, head cocked a little as if listening. The bathroom walls were charred and black, like her hair. She swiveled suddenly to look at me. I quickly averted my eyes. Then the microwave was beeping and my husband’s voice echoed down the hall.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Horror
Oil Spill
“Simply recycle your caps!” Stated the Company chap. But while he waxed on, The spill from Chevron Smothered and covered the map.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Boomer vs. Zoomer
There was an Old Man with a beard Who said, “It is just as I feared!” A destitute Zoomer Exploited a Boomer And built their damn home in my beard!
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Winter Feast
The table was laid with a feast Of food from a thousand miles East. But winter was hot, And nobody thought Of how every train-car was greased.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
The Hardworking Priest
I once met a simple young priest Who also worked five jobs at least. When I asked why, He started to cry, And told me how prices increased.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Swiping Right
A horny man lived in the city Who swiped right on anyone pretty. But then he ran out Of people to scout, So he had to suck his own titty.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Chat GPT
There once was a Chat GPT Which tried to eradicate me. It made a good rhyme, But couldn't keep time, And didn't know how to drink tea.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
The Ever Given
His watch was almost up– The helmsman craved a cup. The Ever Given Was poorly driven; The helmsman uttered “Fuck!”
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
The Spiciest Pepper
The botanists all worked together To upgrade the spiciest pepper. When tested by Fred, He ended up dead: His insides were turned into leather.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Nuclear Armageddon
Silently, deep in the ocean A submarine sits without motion. The Captain yells, "Now!" The missiles go "POW!" But he won’t receive a promotion.
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
The Dress
The first time a man wore a dress, His family cried in distress. He met their stares dead Then winked, and said: “You know, I can always wear less.”
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets
Climate Pact
The countries met in earnest: A gathering of the learnest. “No more pollution!” “We found a solution!” “But first, turn up the furnace!”
By Billy G. James 3 years ago in Poets