Beth Hughes

Ball of Yarn Mind

Have you seen those cartoons that depict a chaotic mind with squiggly lines? Almost like a ball of yarn has completely unravelled and knotted itself inside your mind, and no matter how much you detangle it, there is no clearing the mess that has been made. I often live like this, with a ball of yarn that I can never tidy. I always thought I was stupid, and aloof, just a 'dumb blonde' as friends and colleagues often referred to me as. I knew I was smart but forgetful, and forgetfulness is the seed of stupidity. Throughout my whole life I was always aware that something wasn't quite right with me, but I never thought something was wrong with me and there's a big difference between not quite right, and wrong. Managing that ball of yarn has never been an easy task but sometimes I would forget about it. Whether I was dancing, or playing piano, painting or singing, sometimes that ball of yarn rolled itself up into a more manageable size, and tucked itself into a corner of my mind.