The Fear of Rejection
Discussing the critique process.
I've been doing some scary things lately. These are things that I have been putting off. I didn't quite realize I was putting them off, but now that I'm through to the other side, it's clear that I was.
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About the Creator
Ashley Lima
I think about writing more than I write, but call myself a writer as opposed to a thinker.
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Comments (9)
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Become a paid subscriber to get access.I would feel as guilty as you're feeling but just like you, I would also feel that I did the right thing. I would have debated whether or not to tell this person the truth but I would have decided to tell the truth and to be as kind as possible, like you did. So sorry they left you on read. Some people just aren't ready for it. I'm so glad you've mentally prepared yourself for this. I wish you all the best!
Yes, that's always the fear, and we always have our best works and some that are not our best... but input is always helpful. At the end of the day, you are a terrific writer, no doubt💙Anneliese
I used to be a ballerina, my older cousin was too, only she was on a pretty professional level. I remember I'd get so upset about being critiqued by my teacher and felt she was picking on me. When I told my cousin she told me to not be upset when I was receiving critiques, but to save my worry for when my teacher completely stopped giving notes. Her theory was if someone cares enough to critique it's a good thing, they believe you have potential and want to help you reach it. Not receiving any critique doesn't automatically mean you're perfect, it might mean no one cares enough to give notes. I think about that all the time. It's a hard lesson to learn but everyone has room to improve. You did the right thing for sure, and I'm sure they will realize that eventually, and how kind it was of you to even give your time addressing areas that could improve.
You absolutely did the right thing! If you lie to someone, you are setting them up for a harsher moment down the line.
Giving feedback on the good and honest on what needs to be improved, should be a win-win. Including the questions to ask yourself before having your work critiqued, is an excellent touch to your article!!!
I admire your integrity. As a published academic, I've learned early enough that rejection is a part of process and you just need to revise and resubmit if you want to see your stuff published. I also agree with you wholeheartedly that people should never share their first drafts until you've read it several times yourself.
I have been in this situation many times. Not for books, mind, but other things. This is why when I review, I review like I would want my work reviewed. I try to be brutally honest, but in a constructive way. There's no sense in being like "x, y, and z are bad, do it again", that's just bad critiquing. I will typically discuss what I didn't like along with what I loved privately with the person and discuss their intention for the work and how best to achieve it. That's what I'd want people to do with me.
Great and Relatable- ❤️💯📝👌📚🌈
Honesty is and will always be the best policy. The real world isn't cruel, it's honest. No matter how many times our mothers tell us we're special, it's simply not true. Recognition is earned and people should understand that if they're willing to put themselves out for review. So, don't feel bad for being honest. Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.