April McCoy

Night Watch

As I stand on the back deck looking out into the forrest, I find myself yearning to be amongst the trees, running without a care in the world. It seems as if I was a carefree child doing just that not so long ago. I have lost all semblence of time and realize as I am avoiding the throng of people inside my home, that I don't even know what the date is definitively. It must be the twentieth or so of January. Considering today was the funeral of my parents and they died the evening of my eighteenth birthday which was the fifteenth it seems about right. I sigh and take a deep breath of the cold January air, my eyes scanning the trees that overtake the back yard. I see the yellow eyes floating in the impending darkness night brings. We are obviously not strangers to wild life around our home but something about those golden yellow eyes shining in the night like a beacon has me transfixed, it has me wondering if that barn owl perched high in the trees sees my silver glowing eyes in the same way. I hear the sliding door before I smell the fruity perfume that follows my best friend Twyla around. She links her arm through mine and stands there silently looking out into the forrest with me. Always amazing at being present where words aren't needed, and I love her for it. "Im okay, Twyla, I promise. I just needed a minute away from all the people who are here to put themselves at ease rather than to support their supposed favourite peoples' daughter." I said. And I meant it, other than Twyla, since the sheriff showed up at the door to crumble my whole world, not one of those people reached out to me, to see if I was okay, to see if I needed something or someone. It was all just so... fake. The only person I cared to see was the lawyer, and only because he told me that once the lunch died down we would discuss the wills my parents had written just six months prior. Twyla squeezed my arm and looked over at me. "Kiana, I know this is hard, I know these people being here is just a slap in the face to you. But, I am here, always here girl. You aren't alone I promise!" she says, and I know she means it. I nod and squeeze her hand. "Well, shall we get back in their and close this shit show down?" I ask her with a wink. She laughs and we make our way back into the tall, rustic, beautiful A-frame I spent my whole life growing up in. I miss the huge deck off the back almost instanly once I am inside and all eyes are on me. I have had enough though, it is time for this circus to wrap up. "Thank you everyone, for coming today to pay your respects to my parents Jane and Steven. I know they would have been so happy to know so many people cared so much for them. I appreciate it so much, however now I must begin with the preparations for where we go from here." I say loudly, hoping that my little speech came across clear enough that these people understand that I am telling them to get the hell out. Twyla stands to my right and gives my arm a squeeze and when I look up there is a line of people with their jackets and bags all waiting to hug me and tell me how sorry they are for my loss. It's sickening really, but I paste the fake smile on my face and feel the effects of doing so all day long. shit show down?" I ask her with a wink. She laughs and we make our way back into the tall, rustic, beautiful A-frame I spent my whole life growing up in. I miss the huge deck off the back almost instantly once I am inside and all eyes are on me. I have had enough though, it is time for this circus to wrap up. "Thank you everyone, for coming today to pay your respects to my parents Jane and Steven. I know they would have been so happy to know so many people cared so much for them. I appreciate it so much, however now I must begin with the preparations for where we go from here." I say loudly, hoping that my little speech came across clear enough that these people understand that I am telling them to get the hell out. Twyla stands to my right and gives my arm a squeeze and when I look up there is a line of people with their jackets and bags all waiting to hug me and tell me how sorry they are for my loss. It's sickening really, but I paste the fake smile on my face and feel the effects of doing so all day long. shit show down?" I ask her with a wink. She laughs and we make our way back into the tall, rustic, beautiful A-frame I spent my whole life growing up in. I miss the huge deck off the back almost instantly once I am inside and all eyes are on me. I have had enough though, it is time for this circus to wrap up. "Thank you everyone, for coming today to pay your respects to my parents Jane and Steven. I know they would have been so happy to know so many people cared so much for them. I appreciate it so much, however now I must begin with the preparations for where we go from here." I say loudly, hoping that my little speech came across clear enough that these people understand that I am telling them to get the hell out. Twyla stands to my right and gives my arm a squeeze and when I look up there is a line of people with their jackets and bags all waiting to hug me and tell me how sorry they are for my loss. It's sickening really, but I paste the fake smile on my face and feel the effects of doing so all day long.