Andrea Williams

Open your heart

I couldn’t move, It was almost as if the world sped up and there was a sudden external force nailing my feet to the ground keeping all of my attention on you. In that moment, I heard or felt nothing all I saw was you. With a skeleton like figure that made your massive head and paws stick out like a sore thumb, you sat in the corner with the weight of neglect and abuse on your shoulders. Malnourished, with not even a thin layer of body fat to keep you warm, your legs trembled as you tried to keep your slender body at a stand still. You held your head to the ground but, kept your eyes wandering at any sudden movement or sound. With just your body language trust is what I could tell you no longer had. But, I believe that’s where I connected with you the most. I saw the fight in you and would have to be blind to not see the pain and fear that emitted from you like heat waves in the distance from the summer sun. With an already soiled and unkept coat, eyes full of water and pus, you wore the infamous name “Rottweiler” unknowingly. Which probably made most people not even look at you twice. Like a book cover not interesting enough for one to open and read even the first page. But, you see I could relate to that. Love, is what I wanted to give you and I was most certain through the thick layer of pain, you had it to give. I like to believe that’s what any living organism would want especially, those like you and I. But, like a book time is what I knew it would take for you to open up and understand the message I was trying to purvey. How could i blame you? Beaten down by an inhumane world, thrown into the cold and left to rot. I first gave you your distance to be comfortable with my presence. Each time I could see you picking your head up and looking at me for just a few seconds longer but, still I respected the distance you gave us. By surprise you took to liking me faster than I imagined. Wagging your tail and slightly whimpering when you saw me. A huge smile grew upon my face, time slowed down my anxiety intensing by the second, I could feel my heart beating even heavier than before. Daring to move closer to me but, uncertainty holding you by an invisible chain. I spoke as softly as I could to keep your attention in hopes to sway you away from your position of comfort and security. Finally, you broke loose. Slowly you crept to me, as if that invisible chain was still weighing you down, I lowered myself to be at your level. I held my hand out gently inviting you in. You slowly brushed your face into the palm of my hand, I let you lie there. With my other hand I gently rubbed the other side of your face and cleaned your eyes. I sat down, I let you know it was okay and you laid your fragile body against mine. With a stiff and unsure posture , I could tell you had not felt this type of love in a while, or at all. I could have sat and held you for hours. I believe I fell in love. Although, in “doggie years” you were much older than I, I felt as if I now had a child to nurture. You now had a wiggle to your walk because your tummy was almost always full. Your head always high to the sky with your ears back at alert. Life began to immerse from within you like flowers blooming in the spring time. Your coat began to grow even brighter and fuller than before although, finding the nearest puddle to take mud baths is what you seemed to enjoy i didnt mind it. Cuddling was your favorite past time and at fetch you really showed off. You never changed, never showed any less excitement when you would see me again. It would almost be like you hadn’t seen me in years. I would in return show you that same love. I remember when you first barked which I thought you were incapable of doing, even when you saw other dogs. That’s how I knew you didn’t have a bad bone in your body. You never failed to surprise me especially at how much of a gentle giant you were. As time went on I couldn’t imagine you not being apart of my life. You were the part of my daily routine I actually enjoyed. I couldn’t wait to get my arms around you and ask you questions like “how are you”? And “watcha been doin”? Even though I knew verbally you wouldn’t respond. I liked telling you things , I knew you were listening and nothing I would ever tell you would leave from the two of us. Unknowingly, you had internal health issues that would eventually take you away from me. Selfish of me to keep you here I knew I had to let you go. Emotional in the beginning but, grateful for had been given the chance to liberate and love you, I still smile at the thought of you. Bella, you were a good girl! I understood you and you understood me. I never knew the feeling to have a best friend and I definitely never knew my best friend would be in the form of you!