Ana Zavalaa

What comes after the "Aftermath"?

Saturday May 1st, 2090 The day that everything went loose was the day I decided I would finally start to write about everything in life and the day has come. Still it is so crazy to me that before anything ever happened THIS is exactly something I always wanted to do and to think that now that I am actually getting through with it there’s a possibility no one will ever read this it makes me upset but that’s the whole entire point of writing.. To feel something one more time, because now you’ll really never know when will be the last time this happens to you and then it really is just gone. That was the last time you felt that.. In my thoughts and in my brain I love or atleast used to love feelings. I barely remember how specific things would even feel like. I'm happy because I got to research certain words to expand my vocabulary in time and now keep them in the back of my mind; their meaning, rule to shine, their definition. One thing I miss the most is music. wow. just to say the word gives me a frisson of excitement, to think that most of the new babies here will never get to experience the beauty of walking down a hallway with headphones on, letting the lyrics run through your veins. A family party dancing with all of your cousins, the guitar strokes making you jump in the air. The violin playing in one of your favorite bands takes over the fragility of your heart and your emotions or even the drums that ease your anxious tired body from pretending to be someone you’re not for the bare minimum of response from people and the world itself. Not that the person you were was bad, it was just fear from not being accepted.