Ammar Mahmood

Stranded Love

It was college now and I was pretty much excited for getting out of that traumatic school. College was however in the same little city so i preferred living in home to stay close to my relatives and parents. The first day of college came quite surprisingly early. I was pretty nervous because I spent my whole life studying with boys. However, my caring father dropped me for the first day and I checked in with the college. The campus came out to be big, but it lacked aesthetics. I walked through the corridors and watched grownups all walking blindly like they only had one purpose, which was to fulfil wherever they are heading right now. I headed towards the floor reception and he told me about my class. Upon reaching, it was just a bunch of students sitting in the class, I headed towards an empty chair away from anyone. Whilst sitting there, I noticed the hall was quite big, meanwhile student number was increasing until more of them came rushing in. I noticed there was not much of a space left and the population consisted more of girls. Being a boy with not much of a thing with girls, my anxiety kicked in there. The classes for that day went by quite slowly while staring my notebook pretty much all the time. Not much interaction was done on the first day however the second day arrived. I nervously sat down at a different spot this time and thus began the classes for the day. In mid lecture, this one girl came and there were a lot of stares for her, not her fault she was pretty. She was seated in the front and started admiring the large hall as well after the lecture until her eyes fell upon me because mine fell at her the moment, she stepped in. Days went by staring at each other and secretly determining each others name. Maybe, she was just waiting for the right time and so was I but the truth was I lacked confidence. Until eventually she started hanging out with someone else which I know shattered my heart. Our hall had changed after some months, and this had much space in it. I had made quite some friends now, and for this one lecture I wanted to sit alone and there was this girl I was pretty sure I noticed before. I started to look at her, and she was quite pretty, until she noticed me. I began to look at her again and again and every time I did, she looked back until it became a routine. We got close day by day and we both noticed we lacked confidence and mostly it was just some small talk or a simple smile. It seemed like we took lectures just for each other and just used to sit together and just look at each other. Once or twice, she helped me out of problems without actually asking for it and without saying anything, she went back to being a stranger. We were slowly falling for each other until we started talking and she told me that she had these caring parents and is staying away from all these social activities, like mobile phones and stuff. I was mostly nervous around her and at nights all I used to do other than sleeping was think about her. I had an idea once to ask her about her home that way we can hangout more, but the answer was next day when I saw her in my town market after college and apparently, she was my neighbor. Small world right, she noticed me as well but I thought it was better to stay away from this topic. My friends used to tell she liked me and I need to make a move because it's been quite some time now but whenever I see her, I see myself as an insecure nervous boy. Her friend used to tell me all she do is talk about you but we both were not just ready to handle that much weight until the worst thing happened. She transferred literally days after I was trying to build up the courage and pictured a complete future together. All this time I thought school was traumatic, but college had severely shattered my heart twice. I tried holding myself through rest of my batch and she visited back three times where we just looked into each other with regrets in our eyes. I still talk to her friend about her, and I have loved a woman after her and still do and I know she does as well, but I really want that girl to be here rather than the woman I am with. I know it is rude, but I will give up my world for her, just to see her again. No matter how hard I try to forget I simply cannot, and I still see a future together until maybe nature makes us meet again and may we sort out things and take mature decisions and God knows how hard I want us to be together until the end.