Alan Andrews

Catalyst

CATALYST A time has come so momentous its necessity is terrifying. Decision time. I must utter decisions. Admit to them, own them, take responsibility for. But how to utter that which has always been unthinkable? Or perhaps denied because it has been unimaginable. The foundation stone of wishful thinking was firmly laid. We shaped a relationship around it: she and I. Creatively and with love, but there was a truth we avoided; and truth must eventually be spoken, or it corrodes, even the love and creativity. I have avoided confrontation. Leave well alone. But this moment has long lain coiled and waiting and I have sidestepped it. Just as I have sidestepped that coiled visitor sunning in the garden, our sanctuary. Do not disturb. It might uncoil and be calamitous.