Aathavi Thanges
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Disposing my thoughts one page at a time
Achievements (1)
Stories (36)
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Today feels like a nice day
I like the peace and calm that comes with taking care of myself. My work, my life, my body. My mind. Like a closet in need of desperate cleaning, or an old drawer filled to the brim with old and unused treasures. All in need of sorting, exchanging and rearranging. What brings me comfort is self-care, a focused and in-depth look at how I can be better. A calm approach to ease my mind and all its unnecessary banter. Self-talk. That never seemed more important until now. Have you ever listened to the way you speak to yourself? Instead of someone who has a long way to go, I’m someone who’s failed at everything so fast. Instead of focusing on the journey ahead, I look back in shame. My closet needs to be rearranged. My clothes beneath the bed have been collecting dust for far too long. The drawer, filled to the brim with old and unused treasures, is in need of emptying. I’m stepping over empty bottles of perfume and makeup I don’t use anymore. There was a story here, some time ago. About a girl who didn’t know where she was or what she wanted. Somebody who looked at the world through the lens of her heart, that painful, troubled thing. Someone who had more hope in the past, never seeing the possibility of moving forward. Letting go means leaving the world I’ve created. My old clothes hang from my chair and layer across my floors. I have no room left to walk, and nowhere left to go. Stuck inside the mess of my mind, sorting out the old and unused, whatever I thought would lead me to the truth. My curtains are barely hanging straight anymore, and the door is always closed. God forbid anyone sees the mess I sit in, day-in and day-out, a chaos of my own doing. I’m sorting through the layers of old and unused things I’ve carried along with me for far too long. Reminiscing about the short-lived comforts they brought and holding onto hope. Each thing whispers its own little tale about a happily-ever-after, and every other empty promise I’ve heard. The air in my room has aged with me. It has collected my dust and tears. Polluted the corners of my room, brought upon by things I can barely comprehend. I’ve stained every inch of this bedsheet, drenched in the shame that never sees the light of day. I sleep in it like a new-born, finding home in whatever’s still left of me. And here, in my mess, I’ve made a home. A cluttered, claustrophobic home. Where I’ve always been, so getting up doesn’t feel natural to me. It feels like abandonment. Yet, I’ve been abandoned so many times, it should come as nature to me.
By Aathavi Thanges3 years ago in Journal
The Journey From Columbia to Panama
Note: This article may contain sensitive images. The Darien Gap, also called the “smuggling corridor”, is a jungle that exists between Columbia and Panama. This area of ungoverned land is the most common route for human and drug trafficking. Home to Marxist guerilla groups and indigenous inhabitants, the ecological landfill is considered the most dangerous jungle in the world. It also happens to be the most common route that refugees take to reach North America.
By Aathavi Thanges3 years ago in The Swamp
Moments ago
I’ve never been big on conversations. The city was already so full of noise: the aggressive honks, dogs barking at the same time each morning, restaurant music blasting through every crack and corner. During the day, the streets were packed. Every inch was covered by feet or tires. From my window, I watched a million faces pass by unaware of the world around them.
By Aathavi Thanges3 years ago in Fiction
The Loss of Identity
Recently, I visited a web page titled 26 Questions To Help You Know Yourself Better. I’ve always been averse to articles like this because there was no way that, at the end of these 26 questions, I’d know myself any better. They’re surface-level questions: What are your strengths? They come with surface level answers: I guess I’m not too bad at cooking. Because when you experience the loss of your identity, questioning who you are comes easy. Finding the real answers to those questions is what feels impossible.
By Aathavi Thanges3 years ago in Humans
My Mind An Artist, My body The Canvas. Top Story - February 2022.
Growing up, I’d revel in all the mysterious ways to make myself beautiful. Straightening my hair, learning how to use eyeliner, plumping my lips, the best overnight cure for a pimple. What outfits were trendy? What made me look amazing? Anything! The world was my oyster when it came to beauty.
By Aathavi Thanges4 years ago in Viva
A Hero Till The End. Second Place in Hometown Heroes Challenge.
To my hero, Like all good heroes, you were taken away from this world too soon. The residual effect of your charitable good deeds still linger in our hearts. For hours, people go on talking about you and your little quirks. Did you seriously prefer not to brush your teeth before your morning coffee? Firstly, gross. Secondly, as the daughter you raised to brush her teeth every morning before anything else, I realize how many things you omitted from your life to raise me correctly. You only ever shared the happy memories from your childhood. Thus, you taught me that the greatest power a parent could have is the power to create a better life for their children. Little did I know, you omitted to share over half of your life out of this desire to create something better. Those gaps of communication lost between us itch at me every day.
By Aathavi Thanges4 years ago in Confessions
Prisoner of the Night
I’ve never liked being a light sleeper. A dash of sunlight peaks through my curtains at the crack of dawn. The subtle sense of warmth taunts my tired body. Humans are supposedly diurnal and operate best during the day, but I find that this isn’t always the case. How could humans resist the calm of the night? When the stars reflect the beauty of our universe, how can you withdraw from the world and not bask in the peace that accompanies darkness? It made me envious of barn owls, who strictly resided in the dark atmosphere of night. I find the contents of my mind bouncing from one end to another, refusing to find solitude in the sunlight. But alas, this is how the world chooses to operate. To live in it is to escape your mind and find a community. Part of me enjoys my position on the outside, looking in on all the people who’ve discovered the meaning of normal.
By Aathavi Thanges4 years ago in Fiction
Cultural Disengagement
Today, I went on a walk to grab some bubble tea and I bumped into a lady who handed me a bible. By now, it should be normal to interact with religious activists, but it got me thinking (a little too much, some might argue) about the state of religion today.
By Aathavi Thanges4 years ago in Psyche
Growing Up Watching Stereotypes. Top Story - January 2022.
The movies and shows we watch growing up are extremely special to us. They remind us of a time when our biggest concern was catching a seat at the back of the school bus. They had the power to shape our behaviour, mindset and values. But more interestingly, they sold us a compelling representation of what it would be like to grow up, what to expect going into high school and how life would be like as you finally become a teenager. This cinematic representation would soon be exposed to a bittersweet reality: high school just isn’t a harmless, thrilling adventure, jam-packed with nonsensical romance, comedic relief and pleasure. No, it’s a lot more complicated than that. But the way these movies and tv shows influenced our expectations going into high school has, inevitably, affected how we behave and experience it. More specifically, the way movies and shows represent high school, through the constant bombardment of inaccurate stereotypes, can mislead younger audiences into believing in a false narrative of high school. Returning to these universally-adored films that once shaped our lives can not only be incredibly nostalgic, but also help us deconstruct the romanticised narrative of high school that films, directed to younger audiences, so widely advertise. In return, this may provide some insight into how we can approach high school, and even life after high school, in a realistic, gratifying manner.
By Aathavi Thanges4 years ago in Geeks
