My Nephews are my angels

Loss of oxygen platonic her life is ironic... A baby that looks like a porcelain doll with glass-eyes she is loving and kind, but in vast world she feels no one understands her. She feels so small and that her journey and that her vessel doesn’t make a difference at all.. She feels like she has no purpose in the world.. Her purpose is to be kind and leave this world a better place than which we left it in during a traumatized time .. At the end of the day I regain my life. I want to do things right to change the circumstances of corona has changed me for better.. I'm writing my amends to people in a letter I'm giving back to charity and realizing to count my blessings.. I could have it much worse and I have to be thankful for my family everyday... I should count all of my blessings and my health that's still intact.. I'm very blessed... With a broken head and much on her shoulders to giving to everyone I am trying it’s hard to say no, even harder to let go... Over weight by all my medicines but they make me stable even though i gain weight from them... Life is tough some days I wish I could be perfect and thin. She hides her scars behind make up and covers herself with tattoos and piercings to cover up her pain.. Her world is crashing down like rain hitting the ground at full speed not able to calm down. Broken from within born with trauma to the head Sometimes I wish I was better off dead, but then I realize we all go through trauma in life even corona has affected us all.. I realize I am wanted and loved and people need me around.. My nephews want me here and I must change for them and not be scared... Flowers Spinning Words Swimming....Med cocktails in her system..Nobodies listening.. Corona 19 all alone and there is stress at home, but I am mending the patches and my relationships, because you only get one family and home so love your mother and father and be proud that you always have support around...Sometime my brain freezes and breaks down.. I get so upset and can’t calm down... Mom I'm sorry what I put you through.. I love you with all my heart ... I'm sorry there were times I tore our world apart.Mom is fighter a matriarch a protector but never lets her me be unconstrained and free as an adult.. I want to be treated independently I fight back tears I want the forbidden life, but mom tries to protect me from the unknown... I have a very great mom.. Who cares so much and gives me so much love... I wanna live my dreams after Corona continue helping people and inspiring others and showing people you can overcome mental illness and bran injury and overcome tragedies like Corona.. You just have to stay strong and know your are resilient and carry on.. You make a difference in this world by showing them you can overcome trauma and still stand proud.. If you can overcome insurmountable obstacles and find love and victory in your hardships. You will have beauty and lessons to teach others how to be resilient fight back and to win with victory . I want to be free and have a man to love and accept me but, I must first love myself for everything I am.. Not just hurt or pretend but truly love me again..Stop comparing yourself to everyone you are supposed to be yourself everybody’s journey on earth is different.. Your supposed to be happy with yourself and love and accept your mental health by beginning to heal and let go and truly love yourself and accept who you are it's always hard but don’t be scared let your life pour empathy out to those who need to be healed , through your life experience and existence you make a difference.

She lay stiff sits in emergency room an angel with her crown tumbling down angel with broken wings.. She suffers from a broken heart because men play her and let her down, she feels she gets played like clown I want my brain to slow down.. I want my heart to mend. She feels all alone the world doesn’t feel like home. They did MRI's on my mind and DNA tests all time.. I ask what am I a science project a lab rat running in circles in a cage my life is not a maze.. Take me back to the goods times vacations with my families smiles and childhood times playing with my nephews bringing them love and laughter and stay strong and letting my heart shatter I will be loved one day.. Certain thoughts replay over and over I repeat myself like a scratched record.. I'm bent and out shape but I’m using my coping skills my two nephews love to get better and heal cause that’s what’s the best medicine is for me at this time to see them happy and how I impacted their life.. To finally set my heart free they are the angels tattooed over my shoulder.. Between my cross and the faith of Jesus that hangs over my heart my nephews saved me when I was in a rough time in the dark.. Now I'm in light so let it shine so bright.. My nephews beaming light shines right through me... I got to be strong because they are everything to me and I love them.. They make my world light up again and make me realize, I’m not just a brain injury or a mental illness.. My faith saved me I graduated from college with an Associates degree.. I’m a wonderful aunt a good family member.. I have helped people in many ways.. I play an important role in my two nephews life that today. I am a true girl who persists who is resilient and doesn’t give up.. I’m a trooper who is always staying strong through Corona and mental illness and brain injury.. Through my nephews smiles playing with them and bringing them joy.. They give me the power , balance and faith to carry on.. The tattoo of my two angels and my cross hangs over my shoulder as a praise to give thanks for all I have today my two nephews that bring me peace on earth during these uncertain times wishing every one peace, and something that brings them a sense of security during these times and wishing everyone peace on earth ...

HEALING

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Stephanie Leonard

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Tattoo Poetry

Looking at my right calf you might, over look my bright tattoo that shows my colorfully bright personality and my spirit... Light green and dark leaves intertwined with butterflies and ladybugs for good luck .. Amidst the yellow sunflowers intertwined in a solid golden heart ...Poetry it reads in the middle in cursive letters my first tattoo an enduring spiritual journey, for me and passage I’ll always remember...Many times life has beaten me down people places and things have brought me down, and amidst it all coping with mental illness i admit wasn’t an easy challenge ..The tool of writing has kept me a float and able to deal with my problems it has centered me through my pain and hardships... I use poetry and writing as a coping mechanism to deal with my feelings and my emotions .. I never thought my first tattoo would be a insignia of my favorite hobby and my favorite past time... I never thought my gift I was given my spiritual calling, would be carved into my leg or pain would hurt so much as my first tattoo and I would bleed out but it was very much worth the pain... I never thought that the words of poetry would literally bleed out of my skin.. My tattoo was the first sonnet or prose poem of many ...of many more Five tattoos that would be inked on to my skin I would ink a lone wolf on my right shoulder for family that were very enduring to me and representing being the leader of the pack and overcoming challenges ... I would mark my two nephews and a cross my Christian faith and Jesus and my nephews had saved me in my life story.. Also a corlful henna seahorse marking my live of ocean , and how a species survives in the wild with a completely exoskeleton , they thought a species like me would never overcome life I have overcome and had gained many survival skills in my life they said I wouldn’t survive but I’m alive hear thriving and also a small orange ornate flower over my left ear.. I was an addict to art and telling stories.. I loved to tell poetry through images and picture and life of beauty and tattooing on my living flesh...The hardest part to tattoo is the shin I thought I was going for a calf tattoo, but I said let’s be bold and have the experience that marks my passion for life and my coping atheistic poetry right in front of my leg... My gift should be known to the world... As the needle drove in I didn't anticipate how painful my first tattoo would be biting my tongue but word for word I admired the beauty like a published peace I admired the words and truth spoken in format on my skin there was a ton of blood but it didn’t stop from getting more tattoos and being brave through the pain again and again to tell my story .. I don’t regret any of my tattoos or my finished product they were all awesome and proved I was a true poet inside and new age artist.. Now I had the visible remark how my writing and art took me to unknown worlds, imaginable places.. It led me out of the darkness helped me cope with an illness and was a positive gift.. I could share it with the rest of world I have been writing and doing art since I was 12 now i'm 37 I have been featured in telegram and gazette blog, the Spencer news leader ,newspaper for my college on Word Gathering an online literary journal In Our USA magazine Red Rose Thorns for overcoming my obstaclese and my disabilities . Never did I think I'd be a published writer and make my dreams come true .. This tattoo etched on my skin is a visual masterpiece of my accomplishments and how poetry has got me out of dark timesand places … Its also a mark that reminds me how I gave my gift back to others and the world through writing poetry.. It will always be an inspiration to me... Now each tattoo I own has a little peace of poetry in it and each has its own set of experiences memories expectations and stories to tell... The tale of a poet and an artist will never stop writing and never stop painting its story ... My story and poems I choose to paint on my skin as my story telling masterpiece I see my skin as a blank canvas ..

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