Quantum Spamativity

It's January 20th, 2025. Inauguration Day. Here in the Panhandle, it's 17 degrees F, with a chill index of -20. When I looked at my Google News feed this morning, I expected to see stories about those 2 items at the top of the list. As it turned out, the top headline was, “[Famous Scientist] Breaks in Tears "Google Quantum Chip Just Shut Down After It Revealed This" ~ Beyond Discovery.

While I often “go down rabbit holes,” the series of excursions this turned out to be was more like a prairie dog burrow, with its network of connecting tunnels. The gist of all the related stories was that Google's new quantum computer, running their new quantum chip, suddenly had to be shut down and the explanation was shrouded in mystery.

Theories and false claims came out of the woodwork like quantum cockroaches. One of the most prevalent was that the processor had somehow opened a parallel dimension, or alternate reality, if you prefer, and was outputting data like none we've seen before. Reportedly, among other things, the output included glyphs that matched ancient mandalas and other “powerful” icons.

Yep. It's the dawn of the AI takeover. Go off-grid and get to your shielded shelters ASAP.

It's laughable and simultaneously not, which is sort of a quantum thing. If that doesn't make sense, let me attempt to very briefly explain what a quantum computer does. First, I need to make it clear that I an not a physicist or in any way qualified to explain the things that even those who do understand them have trouble explaining. “We don't know.” is a pretty common answer in those circles.

The term, “quantum,” for the purposes of this article, means related to subatomic particles. You know, those particles that atoms are split into when we detonate a nuke. Fortunately, we've found much safer (hopefully) ways to knock them loose and we're studying their behavior.

Now, there are a few new principles and sciences based on these behaviors, like entanglement, superposition, mechanics, and even its very own branch of physics. Oh, and of course, there's the uncertainty principle! I wouldn't even attempt to sort out which are theory and which are now accepted as fact.

As most of us know, a digital computer CPU operates by switching “bits” on and off, i.e. toggling their states to represent either 1 or 0. So, these brilliant minds came together and designed a processor that utilizes quantum bits, or “qubits” that can maintain states of 1 and 0 simultaneously. Simple, right? Yeah, I don't know how that helps, either, but apparently it does.

Google dubbed the new processor “Willow” and it was announced in December of 2024. It would be replacing their original model, “Sycamore.” The difference between the two? More qubits, just as more bits make for a more powerful digital processor. (Please note I didn't say “faster,” and that is another area of concern with quantum processors and computers.)

For reasons far beyond the understanding of idiots like me, quantum computers have been solving complex algorithms in minutes or seconds that would take our most powerful digital computers years, decades, or millennia. Therein lies the attraction, though whether they will ever be practical for the average user is highly debatable.

Ok, so getting back to current events, Google's Willow processor is happily solving algorithms as I write this. There has been no shut down. No scientists are screaming or crying. Someone did create a great rumor that kept some of us entertained for a while.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump was inaugurated again, the LHC is still splitting atoms and there's a blizzard going on here, just as predicted. As far as I can tell, we're still in the same reality, but how would I know, really?

I am no less fascinated by the possibility of infinite parallel universes or “bubbles of reality.” If we ever prove it to be true, it makes sense that a quantum computer would be involved. To be honest, part of me is a little disappointed that the stories weren't true. I'd love to live long enough to see science fiction become science again, just as putting a man on the moon, reusable rockets and dozens of other technologies that once were only the stuff of imagination.

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Thanks for reading! I hope some of you are nerdy enough to enjoy it. Please feel free to leave me a comment, whether you agree, disagree, or just want to brag about your time machine.