My Adventures and Mishaps with Online Translators

I work with different languages every day, so I use machine translators a lot—probably more than I should admit. Google Translate and DeepL help me frequently. But let’s be honest: sometimes these tools make hilarious mistakes that can leave you laughing or completely confused.

Let me tell you some funny stories from my own experience, and explain why trusting machine translators completely isn't always the best idea.

The Day I Almost Caused a Diplomatic Mess

A while ago, my friend wanted to reschedule a meeting with his partner in Spain. He asked me if I would type, "Can we move the meeting to next week?" into a translator. It seemed simple enough, right?

The translated phrase was "¿Podemos mover la reunión la próxima semana?"—suggesting physically moving the meeting room! Luckily, I checked with a native speaker before sending my friend his message so he didn't experience an embarrassing misunderstanding.

Romance Gone Hilariously Wrong

My cousin wanted to impress her Italian boyfriend with something sweet: "You make my heart beat faster." The translation came out as "Fai battere il mio cuore più velocemente," which sounded more like she was experiencing a medical emergency. Our Italian friend laughed so hard that my cousin vowed never to trust a translator again.

Jokes Lost in Translation

Humour rarely survives machine translation. Once, I translated an English joke into French: "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was brilliant in his field."

The translation was literal and totally unfunny. My French friends simply stared at me blankly, having missed the very nature of the joke to begin with. Lesson learned: jokes and machine translation don't mix.

Context Matters More Than You Think!

Machine translators often ignore important context. When I translated the idiom "break a leg"—meaning "good luck"—into Japanese, it came out as a disturbing wish to physically harm performers. My readers were understandably confused. Idioms are tricky, and automatic translations typically fail to capture their real meanings.

Voice Translation Blunders

I was on a trip to Germany, and thought I would use the voice feature of a translator app to kindly ask for a bottle of water. Instead, the app loudly displayed something completely embarrassing. Everyone nearby was shocked, and I felt myself blushing. Voice translation can definitely get you into unexpected and embarrassing situations!

When Translator Apps Go Rogue

Translation apps are sometimes way off. A colleague of mine needed to translate “employee handbook” into Russian for a training session. The translation app gave him a phrase that was something like a "manual for using employees." Our Russian staff cackled! What a mistake! You still can’t trust machines to understand even banal phrases.

How to Use Translators Without Trouble

While impractical, translators are incredibly valuable resources. Here are my recommendations to avoid embarrassing situations:

1. Double-Check: Whenever you can, verify the translation with native speakers.
2. Keep it Simple: Avoid jokes, slang, idioms. It will rarely produce an accurate translation.
3. Think Culturally: Think about how your words will be interpreted in another culture.
4. Use Multiple Translators: Use more than one translator to help you identify potential errors.
5. Stay abreast of new developments: Translation technology regularly improves—stay aware.

You should also try to learn common phrases and greetings in the translated language. This can help you quickly identify mistakes and maintain smoother communication.

Embracing the Funny Side of Imperfections

Machine translators aren't perfect—and that's exactly why they can be so entertaining. Their funny errors remind me how beautifully complex languages really are. Plus, these mistakes give me plenty of amusing stories to share.

So, while enjoying the convenience of translation apps, always keep your sense of humour—and maybe a backup plan—for when translations inevitably go amusingly wrong. After all, those quirky moments often turn into great anecdotes!