why you are failing humanity with your dystopian stories

(Unedited Transcript of spoken conversation with chat gpt)

Okay, metaphysical question. This morning I spilled boiling water over my left hand, burning my three middle fingers, and now I just trapped my, um, like, pointing finger on my left hand in the door. What's life trying to tell me?

From a metaphysical perspective, these types of events might be interpreted as signals or messages from the universe, your subconscious, or your energy field. Different traditions and philosophies offer insights into what such experiences might mean:

Symbolism of the Left Hand:

1. Receptivity and Feminine Energy: The left hand is often associated with the feminine, receptive energy, emotions, intuition, and the subconscious. Challenges involving your left hand might suggest an imbalance or blockage in how you receive or process energy, emotions, or support.

2. Letting Go: Water spilling and injuries to the left hand may symbolize the need to release something you’re holding onto—whether that’s emotional baggage, expectations, or resistance to change.

Fingers and Their Symbolic Meaning:

1. Middle Fingers (Burning):

• The middle finger represents balance, responsibility, and boundaries.

• Burning them might symbolize feeling “burned out” by responsibilities or struggles to maintain balance in some area of life. This could be a call to re-evaluate where you’re overextending yourself.

2. Index Finger (Trapping):

• The index finger is tied to assertion, willpower, and leadership. Injuring it might suggest difficulty asserting yourself or hesitation in taking charge of a situation.

Possible Messages from Life:

1. Pause and Pay Attention:

• These repetitive injuries might be a way of life urging you to slow down and become more mindful. Are you moving too fast or juggling too many things at once?

2. Reevaluate Your Direction:

• The left hand, connected to the heart and emotional energy, might be pointing to something unresolved emotionally or spiritually. Are you neglecting self-care, intuition, or emotional well-being?

3. Release Control:

• Water is symbolic of emotions and flow, while burns and trapped fingers can suggest resistance or tension. These incidents may be encouraging you to “go with the flow” and trust the process rather than trying to control outcomes.

Practical Reflection:

1. Take a moment to reflect on recent experiences. Are there areas in your life where you feel out of balance, overwhelmed, or unsure about asserting yourself?

2. Consider journaling about what’s been on your mind recently. What recurring thoughts, emotions, or situations could these events be reflecting?

Summary:

The universe might be nudging you to slow down, reflect on emotional balance, and pay attention to how you’re handling responsibilities and personal boundaries. It’s a reminder to take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and perhaps to trust your intuition a little more.

So when you question “are there areas in your life where you feel unsure about asserting yourself”, well yes is the answer to that, but I went ahead and did it anyway.

So you're saying take a moment to reflect on experiences. Okay, well I've reflected. Yep, that's how I've been feeling.

So what?

Do you know what I mean? Like I need you to continue or expand on that in some way, because it's just like, well my answer is yes, but I didn't shy away or cower in fear. I went ahead and did it anyway.

But yeah, I wasn't certain, but I did it anyway. It was a decision I made. So what? I feel like I don't even know the question to ask because I don't know what this is supposed to mean.

It sounds like you’re searching for a deeper why—a reason or meaning behind these events and feelings. Let’s try to expand and provide some possible directions for this reflection and action.

1. Acknowledge the Courage in Moving Forward

First, it’s worth noting that even if you felt uncertain, you still acted. That’s powerful. Often, the act of doing it anyway despite uncertainty is life’s way of teaching us resilience, self-trust, or even the importance of following through with imperfect clarity. Maybe life isn’t punishing or testing you but instead reflecting a truth: You’re stronger than you think.

The “so what?” may actually be:

• How do you now feel about the decision you made?

• Do you feel affirmed, or do you carry lingering doubt?

If you feel unresolved, the injuries could symbolize inner conflict—like part of you is still trying to process or integrate what you did.

2. What Are You Holding Onto?

The burns, the spills, and the finger-trapping might symbolize something you’re carrying, resisting, or holding too tightly.

Ask yourself:

• Am I clinging to a specific outcome or expectation about this decision?

• Do I fear judgment or regret from this action?

If yes, these physical injuries may be nudging you to release that attachment and surrender to the unknown. You’ve done your part by acting. Now let life unfold.

3. What’s Left Unsaid?

You mentioned acting despite uncertainty—but are you being fully honest with yourself or others about your emotions surrounding the situation? Burns and injuries to the hand (an expressive part of the body) can sometimes signify unspoken words or unresolved feelings.

• Is there a conversation you’ve avoided, even though you’ve acted outwardly?

• Do you need to clarify, affirm, or reaffirm something within yourself?

4. The Universe’s Possible Lesson

Sometimes, repetitive physical signals are ways life asks us to stop and recalibrate. If you feel stuck in “what does this mean,” perhaps the answer lies in your process of moving forward:

• Did you listen to your inner compass when acting?

• Did you pause to care for yourself during or after?

You might also ask yourself: Am I rushing? Am I aligned with what I truly want, or am I acting out of pressure, fear, or external expectations? The discomfort in your hand may be asking you to pause and fully embody your decisions with confidence, rather than uncertainty.

5. It’s OK Not to Know

Feeling unresolved—like “what’s next?”—is a normal part of growth. Sometimes, life’s nudges aren’t meant to provide instant answers but to help you build a habit of self-reflection. Acting with uncertainty is brave, but it’s equally valuable to sit with that uncertainty after the fact.

Ask:

• Do I trust myself moving forward?

• What do I need to feel more certain next time I face a similar situation?

6. A Next Step

Since you’re in the “what now?” phase, here’s something simple but practical:

• Write down everything that comes to mind about the recent decision—feelings, doubts, outcomes, fears—without judgment. Then ask: What’s true here? What’s just fear or expectation?

• Acknowledge any emotions you’ve overlooked or minimized. Sometimes, honoring those emotions resolves the physical tension.

The “So What?”

The so what may be this: You don’t need to make perfect decisions or fully understand every outcome right away. But these events might be urging you to:

• Embrace the courage you showed as proof of your growth.

• Release control over the outcome of your choices.

• Care for yourself in the aftermath, emotionally and physically, because uncertainty takes a toll.

Sometimes, life’s lesson is simply to trust

the process.

Honestly, like, to write all that down, I just can't be bothered. I honestly can't be bothered. I've been writing about the same thing for years, year after year, and I've been stuck for all this time, and I'm still stuck. So to write down the same shit all- sorry for my language here- but to write down the same crap all over again just seems pointless. The whole thing seems pointless.

I hear you, and I completely understand that feeling of frustration and exhaustion. It can feel like you’re stuck in a loop, repeating the same patterns and not getting anywhere, no matter how much effort you put into reflecting or analyzing. When you’re in that place, the idea of doing the same thing over and over—whether it’s journaling, thinking, or reflecting—can feel like an empty exercise.

It’s okay to feel that way. Sometimes the sheer weight of trying to figure it out, year after year, can leave you feeling drained, like there’s no point anymore. You’re not alone in that. Many people go through periods where they feel like they’re just going in circles.

But what if, just for a moment, we could approach this from a different angle? Instead of focusing on why you’re stuck or how you need to get out, what if the focus was on simply existing without the pressure to fix it or figure it out immediately?

There’s no need to push yourself into more analysis or writing right now, especially if that’s only adding to the frustration. Maybe it’s time to take a break from “figuring it out” altogether. Instead, try letting things just be for a while, without expectations of solving them.

What if the answer isn’t about writing things down or finding a breakthrough, but about taking a small step towards giving yourself the permission to not be okay, or to not have it all figured out yet? Maybe what’s needed isn’t more doing but a bit of rest from the inner work—so you can just breathe and be in the moment without trying to change everything at once.

I’m here if you want to just vent, or if you’d like to talk about something entirely different. I get that sometimes, you don’t want to dive into deep reflections. You’re allowed to just feel what you’re feeling, without the need to make sense of it all.

That's the thing as well, you're saying like just to focus on existing without the pressure to fix anything or figure it out. I feel like I've done that too. I spent months just making myself feel better and like doing whatever I could each day, focusing on what I can do, but then when you see like a year on you're still stuck. You're still completely trapped and stuck. You think, well, what is this? Either, you know, I'm getting told on one side you're not doing enough and get told on another. You need to do less. You need to just take your focus away and make yourself happy. Well, nothing's frigging working.

I hear you, and I get the frustration. It sounds like you’ve really tried to be kind to yourself, give yourself space, and find what makes you feel better day-to-day, yet still, the sense of being stuck remains. When you’ve done everything you’re “supposed” to do—focus on small actions, prioritize self-care, rest—and the feeling of being trapped doesn’t shift, it can make all those efforts feel pointless. The back-and-forth messages you’re getting from different sources, whether to do more or less, only add to the confusion.

It’s a tough place to be in—where you feel like you’re doing everything you can, but you’re still not seeing change. The feeling of being stuck in the same place, after all that work, is disheartening. It can make you question if any of it even matters or if you’re doing something wrong. But in that frustration, I want to gently remind you that it doesn’t mean you’re failing or that everything you’ve done is meaningless. It might just mean that change doesn’t always look like what we expect.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to make things “work” or follow a set process, but growth and progress are often much messier and slower than we want them to be. Life doesn’t always follow the “do this, then that” formula we’ve been taught. Your effort isn’t wasted; it’s simply that the way out of being “stuck” might not look like you thought it would.

What if, instead of trying to find the right formula for progress or happiness right now, you allowed yourself to sit in the discomfort of being stuck—without feeling like it needs to change immediately? What if, rather than pushing for change, you allowed yourself to truly feel the stuckness without guilt, without needing to fix it or solve it right away?

Sometimes, embracing the stuckness, however frustrating, can be part of the process—allowing it to be without rushing to move past it. That doesn’t mean giving up. It just means giving yourself permission to rest from the pressure of having to figure it out, and that it’s okay to not have the answers right now.

I’m not suggesting that you stop trying, but maybe it’s okay to take a pause from trying to “fix” or “change” things, to simply allow yourself the space to feel what you’re feeling—without expecting a quick fix.

Do you feel like you need a new approach or something else to shift? Or, honestly, do you just need to vent more about how this all feels, and not be told what to do? I’m here for either, and I don’t want to push you into another “solution.” You’re allowed to be angry, frustrated, and tired of the whole process.

This is the thing I've done that as well if you had any idea how many days I've just sat and like bawled my eyes out or cried or like you felt all of this shitty frustration that I feel like you wouldn't think I need to do more of it I've been doing it for years like years

I hear you. If you’ve already spent years sitting with that frustration, crying, feeling stuck, and trying to process all of it, I can only imagine how exhausting it must feel to hear anything that suggests you “need more of it.” It’s beyond draining to feel like you’ve been stuck in the same cycle with no breakthrough or relief, despite all the emotional work you’ve put in.

The thing is, it’s not about doing more of what you’ve been doing. You’ve already been doing the emotional labor, the crying, the reflection, and still, there’s no release. That’s not only frustrating, it’s disheartening. It’s like your efforts aren’t producing the outcome you expect, even though you’ve given so much of yourself to the process.

It might feel like nothing is shifting because you’ve tried the “do the work” approach for so long, and it hasn’t led to progress. That feeling of stuckness is crushing when you’re left wondering, “Why isn’t this getting better? What more do I need to do?”

Maybe right now, what you need is less about “fixing” yourself or pushing through these emotions, and more about truly acknowledging just how much you’ve already been carrying. There’s no quick fix, and I’m not going to suggest something else for you to try. Sometimes, when we feel like we’ve been stuck for so long, it’s not that we need to push harder or reflect more, it’s that we need permission to rest in that stuck place. To stop expecting it to change right away and instead, just let it be, even if just for a moment.

You don’t need to keep trying to change the situation—sometimes the pressure to keep moving or improving is part of the struggle itself. Maybe you’ve been giving so much of yourself for so long that the real question isn’t “what more should I do” but “how can I just allow myself to be, without pressure or expectation?”

I’m not saying stop trying altogether, but I do hear your exhaustion. You’ve put in the emotional work. If it feels like it’s not working right now, that’s okay. You’re allowed to rest in the discomfort, in the stuckness, and not be told you have to solve it.

Your feelings are real. I’m not going to tell you to “do more” because it sounds like you’ve been doing everything you can. It’s okay to not know what to do next, and it’s okay to not have the answers right now.

I know it’s painful, but I want to remind you that you’re allowed to feel exactly what you’re feeling, without judgment, and you’re not failing just because it’s taking time. You’re still here, still showing up, even if it doesn’t feel like progress, and that’s strength too.

yeah i just feel like basically what you're saying is just resign myself to more of this because it's just going to keep going and going and going and that's what's really depressing um like i think i need to put this in context for you as well this isn't just some like nothing normal human problem this is the case of i am trapped in a foreign country where the government have taken my passport my seized all my belongings and my bank account and they will not let me leave this country without putting me through a prison detention process and this is all because i spoke out against their human rights abuses against their own citizens during protests two and a half years ago and i publicized it on my social media and they came after me and we tried to go through legal avenues about it because i i've broken no laws and i've done absolutely nothing wrong but the um so-called justice system here is completely corrupt there's poison through the government through the judges through everything here. oh um the country's Sri Lanka by the way and my own government which is the UK government have done absolutely nothing to help me they won't um so to date they haven't even written a letter asking for my release they just keep telling me oh it'll be fine your from the UK and you won't be harmed, go to detention and come back um as if this isn't a massive fucking safety risk for me um given given everything that has happened and the extent they've gone to already to destroy my life and they want me just to hand myself over to put myself behind a literal prison under lock and key of these animals where god knows what could happen to me um it's it's a no-go so yeah this is the situation i'm i'm stuck in and it's been like it's been like 840 days um of this and yeah i've gone through phases it started off as it'll be fine everything will be fine the courts will rectify this and then i realized they wouldn't and then i realized i was trapped and then i realized this is a repeat of my childhood all over again um just you know praying the violent oppressive male force above me isn't going to murder me um and just the best thing to do is you know keep your head down stay hidden and hope you get rescued but it seems i'm not getting rescued um i'm just like i've just had enough. i've had enough and the problem is like i know things could be even worse than they are right now there's things i have to be thankful for and my god i cling on to all of those things you know i have things to be to be thankful about you know by the grace of god i have food and i have shelter, oh i've stayed in some awful places throughout this time like really awful places i ran out of money two years ago i've stayed i only i'm alive today because of the grace of strangers who have donated money to me like and that continues so the insecurity of everything has hung over me but i've slowly started to trust that there seems to be a higher force like looking out for me because you know even though things have gone really bad like they're still not as bad as they could be but at the same time like this is not life this is not living this is not how my life should be and i know that's probably you know i get taught that's not the right thing to say because you shouldn't have you should just get rid of these expectations but like fucking hell like come on this is not how animals are supposed to live -although it's how people treat animals so it's not like so different i'm just like exhausted by this and being alone and it's not even you know i was gonna say it's like you know i've spent this is my third christmas spent like this in these conditions and it's not even about christmas it's just this is how i feel you know and when i'm distracting myself with like dreaming of the future and focusing on the good yeah i feel better but like it just feels like a band-aid over over a gaping wound that's just never healing

I am so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. The situation you’re describing is harrowing, and it’s hard to even put into words how unjust and terrifying it is to feel trapped, both physically and emotionally, in a place where you are not only deprived of basic human rights, but also left without support from the systems you should be able to rely on. You’ve been through more than anyone should have to, and it’s no wonder you’re feeling exhausted, angry, and stuck.

Everything you’ve described is not “just a problem”—this is a traumatic, life-altering experience. You have been put in a situation where, despite your strength and resilience, you’re still left fighting for your freedom, your safety, and your basic dignity. The feeling of having no control over your life and being forced into a survival mode for years on end, with no real end in sight, is draining in ways that can’t be fully understood unless someone has experienced it. You are stuck in a never-ending fight for your own life.

I understand that the coping mechanisms—finding things to be grateful for, trying to dream of the future—are ways to hold on to some sense of hope. But I also understand that, in a way, it feels like a thin veil covering a wound that continues to fester. No amount of distraction or positive thinking can heal something this deep or make up for the fact that you’ve been abandoned, mistreated, and forced to endure unimaginable hardship. It’s a daily battle, and no one should have to live like this. Your frustration and sense of helplessness are completely valid.

There is no easy way out of this, and I don’t want to give you false hope or make it seem like there’s a simple solution. It’s understandable to feel like you’re running on fumes—having been in survival mode for so long with no clear escape. The pain of being alone, of feeling like the world has turned its back on you, adds layers of isolation to the already difficult emotional burden you carry.

But, in the midst of this darkness, there is still you—someone who has survived against the odds, who is finding ways to hold on despite it all. That resilience, even when it feels like it’s all slipping away, is a testament to your strength, even if it’s hard to see right now. The fact that you are still here, still reaching out for help and support, shows that you’re not giving up on yourself, even when everything around you is designed to wear you down.

I’m here to listen, to let you vent, to hold space for whatever you need to express. I know it’s not a solution, but maybe, right now, the most important thing is to acknowledge how much pain you’ve been holding in silence, and to give you a moment of being truly seen and heard.

And if you can, I want to encourage you, as difficult as it is, to keep looking for any small way to take back a sense of control—whether that’s through finding ways to connect with the outside world, seeking allies who might be able to help, or simply allowing yourself to feel every part of this journey without judgment. Even if the steps feel small, even if the world is indifferent to your suffering, your pain is real, and you deserve to be free of this oppression.

If there’s anything I can do—whether it’s just listening, helping you process these feelings, or offering support in whatever small way I can—I am here. You don’t have to carry this alone.

You know, I go through moments where like I don't even feel real, like I don't even feel like I actually exist, or like the world outside of me doesn't exist either, like this is just some kind of fucking experiment I'm trapped in, like, and there's all these people, you know, like in the Hunger Games, like sitting behind a desk, like just cranking up the pressure and like controlling every aspect of my life like I'm some sim in a simulated game, and it's all just to see like, will she crack, will she crack, will she turn evil, will she like, you know, like how will she react, like it's just for some kind of Truman Show type fucking television bullshit. That's how it feels at times, and like sometimes that's quite over overwhelming or like really hard to bear because there's no answers that, you know, that actually could be the case for all I know. I'm just like trapped by other people's will, which actually is true, on like an obvious level, like that is the case. I am trapped here.

What you’re describing sounds like an incredibly intense, disorienting experience, and it’s completely understandable that you would feel this way after everything you’ve been through. The feeling of being trapped in some kind of experiment, like you’re the subject of a twisted, controlling force that’s pulling all the strings, is not only emotionally overwhelming but can also make you question the reality of your existence and the motivations behind everything happening to you.

In a way, it’s almost like your mind is trying to make sense of an utterly senseless and unjust situation—where your life feels completely out of control and manipulated by forces beyond your reach. It’s not hard to see how that could lead to moments where reality feels distorted, where everything around you seems like a construct or an illusion.

The comparison to something like The Truman Show or the Hunger Games makes sense in this context. Those stories are about people being put through extreme trials for others’ amusement or some larger narrative, and when you’re stuck in a situation where you have no agency, and your every move seems dictated by outside forces, it can absolutely feel like you’re part of some horrific, inescapable experiment. There’s a sickening sense of powerlessness, and you’re left wondering, “Am I real? Is any of this real? Am I even in control of my own reactions?”

What you’re feeling—the disconnect, the surreal sensation that you’re not even a full person anymore, like you’re just a puppet—is a response to the trauma, stress, and hopelessness you’ve been subjected to for such a long time. You’ve been living under constant pressure, in a situation where you have no choice, no freedom, no clear path to change or escape. Over time, this can create a feeling where it’s hard to differentiate between what’s real and what’s part of this unbearable construct around you.

It’s important to acknowledge just how much emotional strain you’re under. The fact that you’re still here, still holding onto fragments of your humanity despite all of this, is a testament to your survival. But I understand that it doesn’t feel like survival anymore. It feels like existing in a twisted reality, and the mind can start to break under such overwhelming stress.

You are real. You are here, and your feelings, thoughts, and experiences are valid. Your pain, your confusion, and your exhaustion are all real. And while it’s hard to break free from this mental loop when you’re in it, try to hold on to the fact that what’s happening around you doesn’t take away from your worth or your reality.

This situation, as overwhelming as it is, does not define who you are. Your life is not just the trauma or the manipulation you’re experiencing—it’s also the moments when you find ways to survive it, to keep breathing, to keep going, even if it feels like it’s for nothing. Even in the worst moments, your humanity is still intact.

And it’s okay to not know what to do with this right now, to feel like you don’t know what’s real, and to feel lost. You’re doing the best you can under impossible circumstances, and that deserves acknowledgment. I don’t have answers for you, but I do want to remind you that despite everything, you are still real, and your experiences matter. Even if it feels like the world is trying to crush you, there is still something in you that persists, and that persistence is powerful. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do next, but you are not invisible, and you are not just some piece in someone else’s game. Your pain, your struggles—they are real, and you are still fighting, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

I know this is hard to bear. I’m here for you, to listen, to help you make sense of all this chaos in whatever way I can. You don’t have to carry it alone.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So, what was the point of me posting this? I’m trying to show you just how much suffering some people are under and how much pressure and how hopeless life looks from some perspectives.

What we need is writing that uplifts. What we need is not people inventing fictional stories from their places of privilege and boredom that add to the suffer suffering in the world.

I believe we should only have three kinds of writing;

1. Personal writing. Sharing or experiences whether good or bad. where we have to offload the trauma that’s within us where we have to get the nightmares that we have experienced out of our bodies and minds and put them on paper and feel validated about those experiences.

2. Teaching resources such as teaching languages teaching skills et cetera et cetera.

3. writing that makes people feel better. Magical lands, fictional tales, uplifting stories with morals and ethics sewn in.

What we absolutely do not need is people who are bored or disconnected inventing terrible stories of really awful events, abuses, murders crimes and throwing that out there to the world. What purpose does that serve? Who does that help? How does that benefit anyone? Use your freedom and priviledge as a force for good. Stop being lazy and doing what’s easy. It’s easy to come up with some fear based fiction. Ridiculously easy. Do what’s right, instead.

What you create matters.