Why i decided writing at 16.

I never imagined i'd be writing online at 16. i mean, i always wanted to be heard without physically expressing my emotions, writing is just exactly how i'd want to convey my feelings- and writing to me feels like a truest way for me to do that. For a while, i kept my thoughts to myself,thinking no one would understand or care,However deep down,I reckon every voice is meant to be heard! This is mainly why i want to start writing and keep going.

My story is a little different. From a young age, I have always felt like I didn’t belong — like I never truly fit in with the others. But of course, there’s always a reason behind the way we feel, especially when those feelings are ones we never asked for. People often made me feel like something was wrong with me as if I was somehow not enough. I constantly felt like all eyes were on me — judging, mocking. People can be harsh and inconsiderate; they made me feel different, mainly because of how I looked, especially my teeth, as if that one thing defined who I was. It wasn’t just the unnecessary and cruel comments — it was the way they made me feel excluded, and invisible. And it hurt, more than I ever let on. When you're a kid and people laugh at you for something you can’t control, it sticks. It makes you question your worth. I began to retreat into myself, thinking that if I stayed silent, maybe they’d stop noticing me. But melancholically, even my silence became something they picked on.

As i grew older, things did not change much, I was still silent considering how i always felt different than other people, however,People began minding their own business as everyone gets busier and more mature before starting high school. However some things never change,i often found it hard to convey my feelings because i felt cringe in doing so, probably because i was never permitted to express myself and was completely shut down whenever i tried to, i was often told to stay silent and was dismissed- It was as if my voice did not matter so i stopped trying to talk about how i felt, it did not seem important to me.I learned to bottle everything up, to smile when i did not feel like it, and to stay silent when i was in agony. That silence became my comfort zone,but also my cage. I felt awkward even trying to start a conversation with anyone.Then i realized being unable to express made me feel like i was invisible, like i was living living in the background of my own life.

Throughout it all, there was one person who had always been by my side — my childhood best friend. She wasn’t just a friend; she was my platonic soulmate — someone who boosted my confidence and made me feel truly safe. She understood my silence in a way no one else did, and never made me feel ashamed of it. With her, I didn’t need words to feel seen.

But then high school happened — and life slowly pulled us apart. Our bond, which once felt unbreakable, began to fade — not because we wanted it to, but because change has a way of creating distance. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself. Yet, I didn’t give up on the confidence she had helped me build. Still, I felt unsure, even lost — being myself around others without her by my side felt almost impossible. I felt alone again.

Even so, I couldn’t let the loneliness win. I forced myself to engage in conversations, to try — but I struggled. Socializing didn’t come naturally, and expressing myself felt like speaking a foreign language. Then something unexpected happened — I moved to an entirely different country. At first, it was overwhelming. But deep down, I was tired of living in silence. My life had started to feel boring and banal, like I was stuck in the same dull routine.

So I decided I no longer wanted to be invisible. I pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone — to initiate conversations, to open up, to finally be heard. Gradually, things began to shift. I started forming genuine friendships, and for the first time, I felt like my voice truly mattered. I wasn’t just speaking — I was finally being listened to. And that changed everything.

Looking back, I realize how much things can change. Silence was never my weakness — it was simply my way of coping with emotional overwhelm. But frankly, some things never completely change. While my communication skills have become more refined, I still struggle to fully express how I feel. That’s why I am determined to keep writing — because it feels like a true part of me.