What Women Think about SEX Versus Reality

As a woman, I have always been intrigued by the societal norms and expectations surrounding sex. Growing up, I was taught that sex was something that women had to be cautious about and that a woman’s worth was often determined by her sexual behavior. However, as I grew older and had my own experiences, I realized that there was often a stark difference between what women think about sex and the reality of the situation.

In my experience, a lot of women tend to view sex as something that is primarily for the pleasure of men. We often feel pressure to meet the expectations and desires of our partners, and may feel that our own enjoyment is less important. This can lead to situations where women are not fully satisfied with their sexual experiences, but may feel that they cannot communicate this to their partners.

One friend of mine, let's call her Emily, had been in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend for three years before they decided to have sex. Emily had always felt like she wasn’t ready for the first couple of years, but when they finally did have sex she was left feeling unsatisfied. Her partner didn’t seem to take into account what she wanted or needed from the experience and often rushed things. Emily thought, “Maybe this was just how sex was, and I just had to pretend to like it.” After several more months of feeling this way, Emily finally decided to talk to her partner about her dissatisfaction.

Her partner, on the other hand, was baffled. He had no idea that Emily was not enjoying herself. In his mind, he was doing everything he could to make her feel good. The truth was he had no real understanding of female anatomy or how to provide pleasure to his partner. Emily had to teach him, which lead to a radical shift in their relationship and the way they interacted sexually.

This is hardly a unique experience. I have heard similar stories from many of my female friends. It seems that we often put pressure on ourselves to meet the expectations of our partners, rather than communicating our own desires and needs.

Another friend, let’s call her Ashley, told me about a particularly disturbing experience she had. She had slept with a guy she met at a party, and the next day he texted her to say he had enjoyed the experience but that her breasts were a little too small for his taste. Ashley was so taken aback by the comment and felt humiliated that she never spoke to him again. Looking back, she realized that she had only slept with him to feel accepted and wanted. But the reality was much different than she had hoped.

This kind of experience highlights the fact that many women see sex as a way to gain acceptance and validation from men. We may feel pressure to conform to certain beauty standards or to act a certain way to be considered desirable. But the truth is that no amount of validation from others can replace the importance of self-love and self-acceptance.

I think the reality is that women often have a much more complex relationship with sex than men do. Our experiences are often shaped by the societal expectations and pressures that we face. We may feel that our worth is tied up in our sexual behavior, or feel pressure to meet the expectations of our partners even if it means sacrificing our own satisfaction.

Ultimately, I think the key to navigating these complex issues is communication. Being open and honest with our partners about what we want and need from our sexual experiences can lead to much more fulfilling and satisfying experiences. A lot of men are simply uninformed due to lack of dialogue and exposure to honest conversations about female sexuality. By having these dialogues, we can build more equal and loving relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. At the end of the day, we are all just humans trying to make sense of a complex and often confusing world. But by sharing our experiences and being honest with ourselves and our partners, we can all work towards a healthier and happier view of sexuality.