What About My Destiny?

His childhood passed as he walked on tiptoes, to avoid provoking his father's anger and to avoid being noticed by his bullying friends, and out of fear of awakening the ghosts of the dark. He was very delicate and felt isolated among all the harsh people surrounding him, as if he were a banner of peace fluttering among the ruins of a battlefield littered with blood and ashes. When he wanted to sleep at nine o'clock, he would dig his small fingers into his hair and move it around to fall asleep. Unable to, he would clear his throat of remnants of tears and sobs to sing himself a lullaby to help him sleep, and he would not finish this cleansing until dawn. His singing was accompanied by sighs and stuttering. He did not interact much with people, so he was not good at speaking and stuttered a lot. He loved being with trees and birds, and a small colt, which he considered his only friend, would sneak up to him whenever his mother was away from him, as the colt frightened him with its size and the noise of its neighing. Then, after several nights, he was shocked to find that the colt had grown to the size of his mother, which he had always feared. This disappointment almost tore his heart apart.

Then came his adolescence, which limped after losing her leg due to a trap set by her wrong decisions in a fatal path. Then came his lost youth, full of scars, which finally revealed to him that everyone, except for their laughter at his birth and their tears at his death, would never feel him. Someone said that between life and death, they did not feel us, but this was not his concern. A person is only responsible for himself, and it is difficult for many to feel anything other than the feelings that beat against the walls of their minds and the heartbeats that race. He cared about his luck, which he remembered when thinking about life and death. His luck continued to apologize to him every day, saving him from death as he crossed the street with slow steps while the cars sped by, and when he fell asleep while driving on a dangerous winding road, his luck spared him from harm. However, he was not grateful and would not accept the apology as long as luck had not favored him when he most needed it and had not helped him create a life. What good was it for saving him from death?