The Writer/Reader Guilt Complex

Does this scenario sound familiar to you? You publish a story here on Vocal or some other web publishing platform. It might be a story you feel is really great, or one that is mediocre, or maybe even one you regret. Another writer you are familiar with from the site leaves a like and a comment on said story. The quality of the story and the content of the comment are not really factors in what happens next. You ask yourself when was the last time you read anything published by this other writer? You also consider, when was the last time you left a like or a comment on anything they had written that you read? If you are anything like me, (I can assure you, you are not, but we may share at least this in common) our answers to both questions will probably be a very low number or zero in some cases. A nagging guilt begins to build at not having read or commented on any of this writer's many works in a very long time, or maybe even ever. This very nice person, this aspiring writer just like yourself, took the time out of his or her busy schedule to read and comment on something you wrote, and you can't even be bothered to do the same for them? What kind of monster are you? And, so, appropriately ashamed you immediately seek out something/anything this person has published and leave a like and a comment to even the score. It doesn't matter if the piece you found was Hemingway reborn (highest possible literary quality) or Michael Chrichton reborn (lowest possible literary quality), you like it and you leave a comment detailing how great it was for whatever reasons you think will soothe your guilt ridden soul.

And so I ask you again, does that scenario sound familiar? For myself it is very familiar up until the very last part where, appropriately ashamed, I take some sort of action to try and even the score. I am much too lazy, and too much of an asshole to do all that, but the guilt is definitely there and I feel it every time. Those of a less assholish nature (probably most people reading this) may do exactly what I described. Also, to say it is very familiar is a bit of a stretch as that would imply that I have tons of people reading and commenting on my stuff, which I most assuredly do not. All that said, if it does sound like you, I want to take this opportunity to say the following (below quotation). It might help if you imagine me looking directly at you, into your eyes, staring deep into your soul as I speak them. Or, it might freak you out big time. What I would say would be no different whether you remain staring into my eyes in a calm and orderly manner, or you scream, then turn and run as fast as you can, as you feel the dread tendrils of a creeping insanity slowly breaking down your mind at the molecular level.

"I officially absolve you of any past, current, or future guilt that you may have felt, currently feel, or may feel in the future, as a result of not reading my stuff. This applies in a general, overall sense, and also in the specific case described above whereupon (whereupon? Gotta be a better word, I really should fix that, but then again, see lazy asshole comment above. And what is with all this directional referencing, see above, see below, makes no sense in the context of written words on a page if you think deeply at all about it, which, sadly, I do on a regular basis. I also use run on sentences on a very regular basis. Should I like italicize this section to indicate it is internal dialogue or will it be understood as such from the context? Fuck. If only I were a better writer, surely I would know the answers then. I'm gonna do it. Why the hell not I guess? Oh shit, but then I can't italicize this entire section as a quotation which is what I was originally gonna do. Oh, I know, bold italics for the entire statement, italics no bold for this internal dialogue part. Well done Danny boy, you are a genius. Who are you talking to? Myself, dipshit. Internal dialouge remember. Oh, yeah, right.) I have read and commented on a story of yours and you have not read anything of mine or commented on anything of mine in a very long time or ever. It does not matter if you have never read a thing I have written, nor does it matter if you never do until the day we are both in the grave, you have nothing to feel guilty about, and I do not hold it against you in any way, shape, or form. Of course I am happy to have readers, any readers, given how few I do have. But, in spite of that, or maybe, because of it, I want to re-iterate you have nothing to feel guilty for. I want you to want to read the things I write, because you find them interesting, or funny, or because they piss you off or make you uncomfortable. I do not want you to read what I write or comment on it out of guilt. If anyone is going to make you feel guilty it is going to be me. But, it is going to be in a controlled fashion via a thought provoking story which causes you to question your most fundamental and assumptions about yourself and your role in the universe, not through any unintentional, willy-nilly stupid guilt that makes no sense. Got it? Good. Thx for reading and commenting!"