The Weight of Arthritis. My True Story

The Weight of Arthritis. My True Story

It all began in 2018, a year that marked the start of my relentless battle with pain. I can still remember the first moments when discomfort crept into my knees and feet, gradually taking hold and transforming my life. When I first approached my doctor, hoping for answers, I was met with dismissive words. "There’s nothing you can do," he said point-blank, leaving me feeling hopeless before I had even begun to explore possible solutions.

The doctor eventually sent me for x-rays, and it wasn’t long before I received the diagnosis: osteoarthritis. From that moment on, life has been a never-ending struggle. Mornings greet me painfully, and each small movement sends jolts of discomfort through my knees and feet, reminding me of my situation.

Nights are no better. As darkness falls, the pain intensifies, and I find myself awake, unable to find comfort. My joints grind and ache, preventing any hope of relaxation. The medications prescribed to me—paracetamol and Co-Codamol—offer little relief. Co-Codamol often makes my legs and feet swell and leaves me feeling sleepy and tired all day. Yet, the pain won’t allow me to truly rest.

In my search for relief, I’ve asked my doctor for something to help me sleep at night, but once again, I have been met with refusal. So, I sit in bed, waiting for 4 or 5 AM to arrive. If I’m fortunate, I might catch some sleep from then until 7 or 8 AM, but it’s never enough. I often end up tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position, and when I finally can’t keep my eyes open, I might drift off into a light sleep, but it's never truly restful.

As time has passed since that first diagnosis in 2018, the pain has isolated me and made my world feel very small. Friends and family may not fully grasp the weight of what I endure daily. When they see me smiling, they assume I’m okay. Yet, inside, I’m battling an ongoing storm of thoughts and pain. I long for the freedom to walk without consideration for the ache. Just a simple stroll outside, breathing in the fresh air, once brought me joy, but now it feels like a distant memory.

The challenges have only compounded since 2021 as I’ve been coping with the effects of Covid. These lingering issues have affected my joints, my ability to sleep, and even my eyesight. All of this has added to the arthritis pain, which has become unbearable.

I often wonder how long I can continue with this. The pain is relentless, and I frequently feel unseen. I hesitate to take extra medication, fearing that nothing will help and I’ll remain trapped in this cycle.

Recently, the latest offer from my doctor was physiotherapy. I was given exercises to do daily, hoping they would bring some relief. However, this is made harder by the fact that, due to a lack of exercise and not leaving the house, I have gained a significant amount of weight since coping with Covid. I committed to these exercises for 20 days, but instead of helping, they set off another wave of arthritis pain. Now, I find myself unable to stand properly because of the discomfort they caused. The exercises—mostly involving standing up from a sitting position in a chair and leg movements—did not help; they only aggravated the knees that were already painful. So, for now, exercising is off the agenda.

Sometimes, I feel like I can't cope anymore. This does not mean I feel suicidal; it simply reflects my struggle with constant pain and lack of sleep. I’m reluctant to try new medications, but it doesn’t mean I’m refusing any form of treatment. I’ve considered options like CBD oil and other over-the-counter remedies that I’ve been told about, but they just don’t seem to touch the pain.

For now, it’s just a struggle until something is found that works. I’ve spoken to others online who suggest that there are medications doctors can prescribe to help manage pain, but they come at a cost. Many practices in the UK run on a budget, making them reluctant to prescribe these treatments unless absolutely necessary. Whether or not this is true, it leaves me feeling uncertain about my options.

For now, I will carry on the best I can and hope for a solution to come quickly. I also pray for summer. The rainy damp cold weather agrivates my Arthritis badly.