The man i love?

I always heard girls say that they found true love when they least excepted it, they loved being by themselves.

I found it silly, impossible rather. I always dreamt of being loved by a man, one who holds me, carries me and makes me laugh.

I have never been in love isn't it crazy, but still I go pursing other men thinking "maybe he is the one", "maybe this time it will be right".

I get disappointed once more.

I never understood that the reason I was craving love was deeper than what the eye could see and ear could hear. I wanted more than this plain desire. Then i asked myself a question, when did you seek yourself? Was it that i lost myself in this pursuit to be loved?

I now understand the "silly" girls who gave impossible pieces of advice. The more you go chasing something, the more it hides itself.

I got disappointed once more and more.

So if a lovely young girl were to ask me when she would meet this dreamy man, I will probably ask her how long is she looking to disappoint herself" and "How strong she is able to handle the pain of continous disappointment thinking the grass will be greener in his arms". Its a silly question I pose but truly. The right question rather would be perphaps when shall i take myself on a coffee date, when shall i go to this "romantic scene" theatre perfromance even if not one will go with me, Its when can i show my friends the love i have within myself. Its when I choose to choose myself.

And no the dreamy man isn't real, maybe he is. I havent met him yet so i guess for now i will be by myself. It's not that scary I promise.