The Journey After Birth: What Moms Go Through Postpartum

Motherhood is a life-changing experience, but what everyone doesn't talk about is what happens after the baby is born. The postpartum experience—those first weeks and months after giving birth—is full of challenges, emotions, and physical changes that can be overwhelming for new mothers. Though society emphasizes the beauty of having a baby, the truth is that most mothers struggle to get back on their feet physically, emotionally transition, sleep deprive, and adjust to taking on their new role.

We will speak below about the different aspects of postpartum life which most mothers experience—emphasizing the struggle and strength it takes in order to embark on this new journey.

1. The Physical Recovery

Childbirth is an extensive experience for a woman's body, either vaginal delivery or C-section. Mothers have a healing process after birth that varies from person to person.

Postpartum Bleeding and Pain

One of the first experiences a new mom has is postpartum bleeding (lochia) that can potentially continue for weeks. This is how the body is expelling the excess blood and tissue from pregnancy. Perineal pain is also to be expected for many women who experienced a vaginal delivery, especially if tearing or an episiotomy occurred.

For the mothers who undergo a C-section, recovery is even more prolonged. The incised area hurts, and muscles and tissues take weeks to heal. Laughing, standing up, or even cradling the baby can cause pain in the early days.

Uterine Contractions (Afterpains)

After the baby is delivered, the uterus tightens up so that it can go back to its pre-pregnancy size. The contractions, known as afterpains, are hard and painful, especially when the woman is lactating. They are stronger in mothers who have had more than one child.

Breastfeeding Challenges

For breastfeeding mothers, it isn't always simple. Many endure sore or cracked nipples, engorgement, plugged ducts, or even mastitis (a breast infection). It takes practice and patience to learn breastfeeding, and some mothers feel anxious if they experience trouble.

Hormonal Shifts

During pregnancy, the body is saturated with hormones that feed the baby. After giving birth, they drop precipitously, leading to mood swings, night sweats, and even hair loss in some cases. These extreme fluctuations can make new mothers feel like they are not themselves, along with the emotional stresses of postpartum life.

2. The Emotional Rollercoaster

Postpartum is an emotional whirlwind. The majority of women are filled with immense joy and love for their baby, while others have anxiety, sadness, or depression.

Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression

Most mothers experience the "baby blues" within the first few weeks postpartum. This encompasses mood swings, tears, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed. It's mostly due to the hormonal changes and sleep deprivation.

But for others, these feelings linger and become postpartum depression (PPD). Symptoms of PPD are:

• Persistent emptiness or sadness

• Frequency of being disconnected from the baby

• Constant fatigue but can't sleep

• Loss of interest in things that one used to enjoy

• Mood of harming the baby or self

Postpartum depression is serious and requires medical attention, but most mothers endure in silence because they are ashamed or too scared to do so.

Postpartum Anxiety and OCD

Not all postpartum emotional challenges are depression. Some mothers become engulfed in anxiety, worrying day and night that their baby is not safe, they are not good enough as a mother, or other unreasonable worries.

Some develop postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), in which they have intrusive thoughts about something horrible occurring to the baby and must perform certain rituals or behaviors in order to "protect" them.

These disorders are terrifying for new mothers, but they can be treated with therapy, medication, and counseling.

3. The War of Sleep Deprivation

Babies wake up every few hours to eat, so mothers do not sleep at all. The constant routine of feeding, changing diapers, and soothing the baby exhausts a mother physically and mentally.

The Effects of Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation doesn't just cause fatigue—it also affects mood, memory, and functioning. Most mothers experience:

• Brain fog (forgetfulness and inability to concentrate)

• More anxious and irritable

• More susceptible to postpartum depression

• A weakened immune system

For mothers without a supportive network, the lack of sleep can be especially challenging, making even simple tasks seem impossible.

4. Adjusting to a New Identity

Prior to giving birth, a woman has her own identity—her job, pastimes, social life, and independence. After giving birth, most moms are having trouble figuring out their identity because they're new in their role.

The Pressure to Be the "Perfect" Mom

Today, however, social media tends to generate unrealistic expectations for new mothers. To compare oneself with influencers or celebrities who appear perfect immediately after giving birth, or to learn about moms who "do it all" can make one feel like a failure.

Most mothers place pressure on themselves to:

• Be productive immediately

• Keep the home tidy and prepare meals

• Quickly shed the baby weight

• Balance work and motherhood with ease

This stress can result in feelings of guilt and inadequacy, particularly for mothers who are barely making it through the day.

Loss of Personal Time

Prior to having a baby, a mother might be able to do small things such as take a long shower, sleep in, or go out with friends. Following birth, it is all about the baby, and most moms feel that they have lost themselves in the process.

Finding a balance between being a mom and an individual is the biggest challenge during the postpartum period.

5. Changes in Relationships

It can put pressure on relationships, especially between couples. Fatigue, hormonal changes, and additional responsibility can make intimacy and communication difficult.

Less Time for Each Other

With a new baby in the house, most of what the parents are talking about is feed times, nappy changes, and sleeping patterns. There is little space for romance, and many partners feel disconnected for the first few months.

Different Parenting Styles

Conflicts about how to care for the baby can also create tension. One parent might prefer a strict routine, but the other is more laid-back. Compromise and teamwork are essential to learn.

Feeling Unappreciated

Most mothers feel as though they are invisible, especially if they are at home all day caring for the baby. They will resent their partner if they are not being supported or acknowledged for everything they do.

Having an open line of communication and having a partner's support can make all the difference when going through this phase together.

6. The Importance of Support and Self-Care

No mom should face postpartum challenges by herself. Family, friends, and healthcare professionals need to provide support.

How Loved Ones Can Support

• Sitting in with the baby while the mom gets some sleep

• Preparing meals or doing laundry

• Taking a moment to visit regularly and be present

• Persuading her to share how she feels without criticizing

Prioritizing Self-Care

Though it is difficult, new mothers must care for themselves as well. Simple activities such as:

• Taking short naps while the baby naps

• Eating nutritious meals

• Taking a walk outside for some fresh air

• Talking to a friend or counselor

Self-care is not selfish—it is vital to the health of both the baby and the mother.

Conclusion

Motherhood is beautiful, yet it's one of the most challenging work in the world. Postpartum is filled with physical pain, emotional wars, sleepless nights, and shifts in identity. But in the midst of all the challenges, mothers find strength they never even knew existed.

If you're a new mom reading this, take note: you are not alone. It's all right to struggle, it's all right to ask for assistance, and it's all right to take time to adjust. Motherhood is a process, and you are doing an amazing job.