The Day I Stopped Saying “I’m Fine”

The Day I Stopped Saying “I’m Fine”

You know that moment when someone asks, “How are you?” and without even thinking, you say:

“I’m fine.”

Even when you're not.

Even when you cried in the shower five minutes ago.

Even when your world feels like it's falling apart.

That used to be me.

Every. Single. Day.

I mastered the art of pretending.

Smiling through exhaustion. Laughing through anxiety. Showing up when all I wanted was to crawl under my blanket and vanish for a week.

I thought it was strong to hold everything in.

I thought if I admitted I was struggling, people would think I was weak.

Or worse—too much.

So I became an expert at hiding in plain sight.

Until one Tuesday morning… I cracked.

It wasn’t anything dramatic. I was just sitting in my car outside work, holding a cold cup of coffee, trying to convince myself to go inside.

And I just couldn’t.

Something in me—after months of pushing—finally said,

“That’s it. No more pretending.”

I texted my manager:

“Hey, I’m not okay. I need the day.”

Then I texted my best friend:

“Can I come over and just exist on your couch?”

No explanations. No fake smiles.

Just honesty.

That day changed my life in the quietest way.

My friend welcomed me with no questions. We didn’t talk about deep stuff. We just watched reality TV, ate leftover pizza, and sat in silence that didn’t feel awkward.

For the first time in months, I didn’t feel like I had to perform being okay.

I could just be… me.

Messy. Tired. Real.

And the world didn’t end.

Later that week, I posted something simple on social media:

“Hey, I’ve been going through it lately. If you are too, just know you’re not alone.”

I expected maybe a couple likes, maybe a DM or two.

But the replies?

Dozens of them.

“Same here.”

“Thanks for saying this.”

“I’ve been pretending for weeks.”

People I hadn’t spoken to in years reached out. Not to give advice, but to connect.

To say: Me too.

To say: Thank you for being real.

I realized how much we’re all walking around holding things in—because we’re afraid of being a burden. Afraid of being “too emotional.” Afraid of being the one who always has something going on.

But everyone has something going on.

We’re just trained to hide it.

We say "I’m fine" like it’s an auto-reply.

But what if we didn’t?

What if we started answering that question—“How are you?”—a little more honestly?

Even if it’s just:

“Honestly? A bit overwhelmed today, but I’m hanging in there.”

That one sentence can unlock a deeper kind of conversation. A more human one.

Of course, I’m not saying you need to trauma-dump at the grocery store checkout. Or pour your soul out to a stranger on the bus (though honestly, I’ve done that and it wasn’t the worst).

What I’m saying is: stop hiding from the people who care.

Let your “I’m fine” be replaced with:

“I’m tired but grateful.”

“Not great today, but thank you for asking.”

“Honestly? It’s been rough. Wanna talk about something fun to distract me?”

Let people show up for you.

I had to learn that part too.

It’s funny, the more honest I became about my emotions, the closer I got to people.

I thought they’d be uncomfortable with my truth.

Instead, they felt seen by it.

One friend said:

“You saying you're not okay made me feel like it’s okay for me not to be okay, too.”

And isn’t that the most human thing?

We all want to be understood.

Sometimes that starts by being the first one brave enough to not be fine.

Here’s what’s true:

You are not a burden for having emotions.

You are not broken for needing a break.

And you are definitely not weak for being real.

If anything, you’re strong for feeling deeply and still finding the courage to keep going.

I still struggle, by the way.

There are days I slip back into my “I’m fine” autopilot mode. Days I want to hide.

But I catch myself quicker now.

I check in with myself like I would with a friend:

“What do you actually need right now?”

“Can you be honest with someone about that?”

Because pretending helped no one.

But being honest?

That saved me.

So here’s your gentle reminder, in case you need it today:

You don’t have to be “fine.”

You don’t have to be strong all the time.

You don’t have to carry it all by yourself.

Let someone in.

Send the text. Ask for the hug. Take the break. Speak the truth.

Even if it’s messy.

Especially if it’s messy.

You deserve to be loved exactly as you are.

No performance needed.